Don’t read any further if you haven’t seen this movie. You’ll find out everything that happens and you won’t understand any of my super funny jokes.
Eating a fast food cheeseburger tortilla with samurai sauce (a squirt on the fries too, please). I saw this wreck in the theater and fell asleep, so hopefully the food will keep me up if the movie won’t.
0:00:00 It’ll be interesting because I confuse 1 & 2 and I don’t remember 2.
0:02:49 Wait! That general guy already died in the first Transformers! At the cool battle scene at the beginning. WTF!?
0:04:39 One robot smells another? What makes them smell different? And since when did the Autosatis-faction begin projecting hot babes and why did this stop before #3?
0:05:24 Why the fuck do the soldiers even bother trying to fight the Decepticons before the good robots show up? Seems like a waste of good flesh to me.
0:07:58 They don’t want the news of the bad robots to get out!? One or two of the people on the highway where the battle is being fought might notice the presence of a 6-story robot.
0:08:16 Damn the special effects are awesome.
0:10:53 OMG Megan Fox in Daisy Dukes bent over on a motorcycle. That’s some fine ass acting talent she’s showing off there.
[Sorry, the shot is a literal screen shot of the TV with my smart phone.]
0:12:40 This whole movie is going to be based on a sliver of the All Box that fell off on Sam’s hoodie? #Weak
0:12:55 And why did it pick this moment to activate? It’s like it somehow knew the sequel was starting.
0:14:36 If my neighbor’s house exploded because of killer robots, I might notice. Or maybe I’m more observant than the norm. #PeepingTom
0:14:52 Bumblebee could talk at the end of T1. What happened? CAT® got his tongue?
0:16:45 He’s breaking up with a robot. And the robot’s crying. #OhPlease
0:18:03 Oh good, the geeky wuss refuses to tell the hottest girl on the planet that he loves her. That’ll be some nausea to look forward to later. Like eating a tortilla with samurai sauce. Except not as good.
0:25:38 Where exactly is Only Hot Girls College located? #FU
0:30:07 The mom eats a hash brownie and starts tackling jocks. That’s not a hash brownie. #Brown(ie)Acid
0:30:43 Very cool cyclops cougar badbot. I betcha he has a stupid name.
0:31:06 There is no way in hell a cougar sized robot could hold a gazillion ball bearings that turn into an ocean of badbots.
0:32:16 Ok, seriously, if all the ball bearing bots can change into any shape they want, what’s the point of the other bots who are limited in their size and function?
0:33:33 Cool version of “Burning Down the House”. (You MUST check out this video.)
0:34:28 If the hot blonde hitting on Wetwick isn’t a Decepticon, the film crossed the line from Science Fantasy to Science Please Give Speilberg All Your Money You Gullible Disillusioned Ignorant Geek Patsies.
0:36:58 I was right. Spielberg is off the hook. The babe was a decepticon. #LikeEveryWoman
0:38:51 Why don’t the badbots just convert the submarine with the All Box and drown the soldiers instead of converting everything else around it and fighting a huge battle?
The All Box can never truly be destroyed.
One sentence just rendered the entire first movie a total waste of time.
0:43:59 It’s Dwight from The Office!
0:47:32 The little bot steps in a mousetrap and feels pain? #Really?
0:54:30 The tip of the bitchbot’s giant tongue is still pink flesh. #NiceTouch
0:55:47 Three people in a compact car dropped from a helicopter at the height of a skyscraper through a factory roof are saved because of an airbag? WTF!? (Of course, I can see how MF’s airbags would save her.)
1:00:52 OP is fighting 3 badbots… Where are the rest of the Autosatis-faction? #Chickenbots
1:02:13 I bet OP doesn’t stay dead.
1:03:01 After OP kills most of the badbots and dies (for a scene or 2) now the other goodbots show up. #Assbots
1:06:14 Very cool sinking of aircraft carrier special effects.
1:09:48 I’m getting seriously fed up of the bucktoothed, big lipped, sassy black pimpmobiles. #Racistbots
1:20:23 John Turturro in a jock strap. Pretty hairy and pretty hairy but not hairy pretty.
1:21:49 I laughed out loud when the one guy accidentally tased himself.
1:22:45 A robot that is senile and needs a cane. Remind me again how robots are better than people?
1:46:58 Just woke up from a cat nap. The movie was stronger than the samurai cheese sauce.
I’m calling to say my phone doesn’t work…
1:53:49 This movie has more men screaming than San Francisco during a vaseline shortage.
2:0:47 The problem with the comedy they keep trying to introduce is that it’s just not funny. They go through the motions but it’s just for the form. #BadForm
2:07:15 Megan Fox running in slow motion. #BouncyTalents
2:12:39 The third time Megan runs in slow motion, she dives to give up some down blouse.
2:14:13 Mikaela yells at Sam to tell him she loves him. #YouOweMeOne
2:17:45 Robot heart transplant. What next? #RobotSTD
2:20:52 Mikaela is hugging Sam Wetwicky but he can’t stop staring at Optimus Prime. #DildoBot
- WTF!?’s: 4
- When to Follow: If you’re hospitalized and this is the only thing on. And the bathroom is close.