Don’t read any further if you haven’t seen this movie. You’ll find out everything that happens and you won’t understand any of my super funny jokes.
Eating ramen in a cup for lunch and picking up the apartment at the same time to prepare for dinner guests who are coming tonight from the States.
I think I didn’t see this in the movie theater because there were too many other movies that all came out the exact same instant. I wanted to see it because I liked the poster. The fun thing is, I have absolutely no idea what this thing is about.
00:03:39 The bad guy just happens to be standing in the precise spot in the middle of the jungle where the good guy just happens to land after jumping off a mountain.
00:05:14 4 guys on the beach with their shirts off. I’m thinking I’m not the target audience for this. #GleeFans
00:07:23 If you almost drown at a beach bonfire and your friends all run away while you’re crawling out of the ocean and you have super powers…Hunt them down and kill them.
I was just 9 years old when the Mogadoris invaded my planet…
Is there anyone out there who still thinks exposition in dialog is a good idea?
00:15:43 The poor man’s Christian Hayden (yes, that bad) is hanging out with a puppy and an older man who is not his dad in a hotel room. You’d think super aliens on the run from killer aliens would have a more exciting, less “Village People” lives.
00:16 38 Hot blonde alien blows up her house and survives because she’s super cold. #LikeEveryOtherHotBlonde
00:18:00 This is like Sarah Connor Chronicles without the babes.
00:21:27 WTF!? The only school in the world where the geeky fags bully the burly new guy.
00:24:26 We learn his secret power is strength. And being an outcast in a new school where he meets the hottie. #LikeTwilight. And he can morph into any top 40 teen movie. #LikeTheSoundtrack.
00:27:26 His palms glow. Apparently another power he has is excessive masturbation.
00:3:32 A blonde photographer who helps her friends. #ForgettingVeronicaMars
00:47:51 Loner boy moves to Hicksville USA falls in love, defeats local bullies and learns about himself. #DirtyDancing
00:48:58 House of Horror ride at local fair turns real. #ClichesAreTheTrueTerror
00:54:09 Their first kiss. I bet there’s not going to be a whole lot of full frontal nudity in this puppy.
00:55:11 Teenage guy discovers he has special powers and has to learn to control them. #WhatIsSpiderman (Or Harry Potter)
01:03:32 Alien love is forever. Like Vampire and Werewolf love. Or #herpes
01:13:35 The dad figure dies and the only thing I get a touch of is indigestion.
My home planet is Lorian but Earth is my home now. It’s as good a planet as any in the universe, and I intend to make sure it stays that way.
These words were literally in someone’s mouth. #Gross
Ok, I seriously just fell asleep twice during the last third of the movie. I gotta get ready for the dinner guests now. If any one out there was able to stay awake and thought it was disproportionately better than the first ⅔s, please contact someone else who hasn’t yet deleted this to make room on their hard drive.
- WTF!?’s: 6
- When to Follow: Not even worth the time it takes to steal it.
- What To Feedback: You know how Rodney won the big prize last time? Now’s your turn. Or Rodney’s again. To Caption This…