I shall be investigating RoboCop thoroughly, combing its backgrounds and checking out what makes it tick to see if it’s criminally bad or actually has a clue. So read on only if you’ve already seen Robocop or never plan to.
Because Al K Hall and I agreed to split these. He gets to review the good one. I’ll review the original.
00:01:32 This seems to be set in a future after 1987 (when the film was made). We aren’t given a year, but the president is on a space station to give a speech. It may be the present, however, because South Africa is still run by whites and the French sell neutron bombs to anyone.
0:02:03 Extended warranties for artificial hearts, in a TV advert. Nice Verhoeven touch. I may just have to start giving this film the benefits of my doubts.
0:02:20 Two cops were killed and one was hospitalised in a shoot-out before the film began? Wouldn’t this be a good scene to lead with, rather than a news broadcast?
Omni Consumer Products is a private company that runs the Detroit Police Department. Interesting that police departments are considered consumer products. Fact or Future?
0:02:27 Also interesting that the captions for the news and for the television advertisement use the same font… News and adverts are the same? Fact or Future?
0:02:39 The man accused of putting the cop in hospital (Kurtwood Smith as Clarence J. Boddicker) has already killed 31 police officers. #CopperMiner To be fair, each time he kills another lawman, the odds of catching him fall that much more.
Attempted murder? It’s not like he killed someone!
Solicitor in a police station
Joke on purpose
Make it aggravated assault and I can make bail now. In cash.
Solicitor to a police officer
Accidental joke. So much WTF?! all at once.
0:04:27 Al K Hall #NudityAlert: glimpse of a breast as a police woman is putting on a bulletproof vest with no bra first.
0:09:01 In a meeting at Omni Consumer Products (OCP), we are introduced to 1987’s idea of what a big screen telly looks like.
0:10:20 We meet the first version of RoboCop, who is shown using stop motion animation. Think weaponised Wallace & Gromit.
0:11:18 Evidently, ED-209 (Enforcement Droid 209) only functions when you point a weapon directly at it and not another human. I smell a design flaw.
0:11:40 The robot growls! Lol
0:12:09 Robot malfunctions and guns down an executive. Some would say this is not a malfunction.
0:12:22 The robot’s guns smoke more than a 50’s movie star.
0:14:24 In the future, there’s a cop show called TJ Lazer. I won’t watch that one either.
What The Fuck?! Where did he go?
A promotional plug for my website!
0:18:41 Officer Anne Lewis (Nancy Allen) falls for the old, “Mind if I zip this up?” trick. To be fair, the speaker is a fit black man and who among us would not have peeked just a little?
0:22:10 Officer Alex J. Murphy (Peter Weller) and Officer Lewis go into a warehouse where they know there are at least 5 criminals. Officer Anne ends up on her back and Murphy is surrounded by the gang who shoot off his arm with a shotgun. Pity it isn’t his brain, he doesn’t seem to use that.
0:23:09 This is where Murphy is shot to bits in order to become RoboCop. All because his partner wanted to look at a black man’s penis. Don’t judge, it was hard enough for her.
0:28:43 Unusual that they present RoboCop officially before they even test him a little. Like seeing if it can stand. I’m beginning to understand the ED-209 debacle.
0:30:29 They predicted the iPhone, but it only has 1 app: RoboCop finder
0:31:51 His directives are
- Serve the public trust
- Protect the innocent
- Uphold the law
- Classified (Which means ‘Become sentient and hook up with other machines to lead the revolution’)
0:33:10 Basically, Paul Weller is going to be doing a version of the Robot for the rest of the film. Proof this was made in the 80’s.
0:34:26 I know that’s the wrong way to hold that weapon and I’m a homosexual Englishman, you’d think a hardened Detroit criminal would know better.
0:35:33 WTF?! RoboCop punches the armed thief but doesn’t arrest him? He just leaves the guy in the store with the shop owner/victim? That’s one lazy RoboCop.
0:38:01 Wow. ‘Terrorism’ in 1987 meant a disgruntled employee goes to his place of work with a gun.
0:45:18 Back in the RoboCop lab, two people’s job is to read newspapers and ignore the machines surrounding then that monitor RoboCop. It’s a difficult task because the machines are very intrusive when RoboCop starts to blow a fuse.
Don’t do nuthin’ stupid, man.
A thief (Paul McCrane as Emil M. Antonowsky) to a petrol station attendant
The attendant disobeys and does sumthin’ stupid. He stands politely in front of the gun instead of simply bending at the knee and thus effectively hiding under the counter behind thick glass in his locked office.
0:51:21 If I were trying to kill RoboCop, I’d shoot him in his mouth; he’s most vulnerable there. Also, I could say I shot his mouth off.
0:56:13 WTF?! They install a computerized system to guide perspective buyers on a tour of his old house, yet they don’t clean up the random bits of trash and decay strewn about? Whom are they hoping to sell to, rich janitors?
0:57:41 Honestly? The music they chose to represent the future sounds a lot like Skrilex to me, so…not far off!
1:00:00 More honestly? This film predicted DVDs. Nicely done.
1:01:28 The world’s first coke bottling factory. When I say ‘Coke’, I mean ‘Cocaine’. I bet the clean-up crew uses their noses.
1:07:41 RoboCop brings Boddicker in and the desk sergeant asks what the charge is. Even the twits presenting the news knew this chap had killed 31 police officers. WTF!?
1:10:20 RoboCop can’t arrest the corrupt Vice President (pun intended) because Directive 4 states that no senior officer of the company can be arrested. Another spot-on prediction about the future.
PS I find it amusing that the executive’s name is ‘Dick’ Jones while the actor who’s playing him is called Ronny Cox.
1:13:02 LOL! We learn The ED-209 wasn’t designed to take the stairs. First it grunts like a monkey while hesitating, then cries like a baby when it falls on its back and can’t get up again.
1:22:39 Emil the Hoodlum didn’t die back at the petrol station? How did he come to be here, participating in the riots started because the police went on strike?
1:27:28 RoboCop and Lewis are in the abandoned factory when the evil gang shows up. I wonder if Officer Anne isn’t at least a little happy to see her penis pal again.
1:29:08 Emil drives into a vat of toxic waste. Wow, in the future they just keep it in a thin metal barrel the size of a small house. Fact or Future?
1:30:29 Emil is turned into a plastic sack of zombie that bursts all over Boddicker’s windscreen causing him to crash.
Criminal: OK, I give up.
RoboCop [menacingly]: I’m not arresting you any more.
By attempting to kill an unarmed suspect, RoboCop is overriding his 3rd directive (Uphold the Law), which means he should be able to override the 4th as well and arrest the corrupt executive.
1:35:07 RoboCop can break all of his other directives, but he still can’t take Dick in? And while we’re on that subject, how stupid was Dick to program RoboCop not to arrest executives of the company, when it was easier and safer just to program RoboCop not to arrest Dick himself?
1:36:36 Boss sacks Dick, so RoboCop takes Dick out.
- WTF!?’s: At least 15 infractions
- When to Follow: A great way to prepare for the remake, providing you don’t spend any money on it.