WTF: Excision (2012)

Excision 09 (WTF Saint Pauly)

Excision 01 poster (WTF Saint Pauly)

Spoiler Alert:

I shall be dissecting Excision bit by bit, digging deeply into each morsel and getting under it’s skin to see if it’s cutting edge or dreadfully dull. So read on only if you’ve already seen Excision, or don’t plan to.

Watch Excision on-line here

WARNING: In addition to being the best film I’ve seen in recent memory, Excision is a disturbing film with disturbing subjects. The images, clips and GIFs below echo that intensity, so continue only if you are willing to see shocking subject matter. You have been warned.

Excision 02 (WTF Saint Pauly)
The Milky Way

0:00:34 The opening scene is a woman in a lab coat on a stool in a blue tiled room staring at another version of herself similarly clad but bleeding profusely from her face. Help yourself!

0:01:06 The non-bloodied twin seems to have a sort of half arsed orgasm. The bad news for the actress’ boyfriend is 1) she’s never had a real orgasm if this is what she thinks orgasms look like and 2) she cannot fake them.

0:01:13 Oh goody, it was a dream sequence. Because who wants action scenes to be pertinent to a film?

0:01:14 WTF is that contraption Grace is using? Ah, if anyone is wondering, this device is used to treat cystic fibrosis. Or it’s a breast pump.

Excision 03 GIF (WTF Saint Pauly)

0:02:34 The film is set in suburbia with the domineering mother (Traci Lords!) of an acne victim (AnnaLynne McCord as Pauline) who doesn’t fit in her family, and Grace (Ariel Winter), a favoured yet terminal daughter. There is a father, but mum is the man of the house.

0:02:58

Excision 04 meme (WTF Saint Pauly)
Pauline popping the question in a class taught by Reese from Criminal Minds (Matthew Gray Gubler as Mr. Claybaugh)

From Wiki Answers: Yes. Viruses and Bacteria can survive after a person dies. Always use protection when having sex with dead prostitutes, or live prostitutes, for that matter.

Because I’m willing to go the extra mile for you.

0:05:47

I only want you to endure the same, gut wrenching agony during these sessions that I go through every single Sunday listening to your sermons.

Pauline to Father William (John Waters!), who is the family’s therapist

John Waters is my second favourite priest (after George Carlin).

Excision 05 (WTF Saint Pauly)
“Is that acne or did your neck throw up?”

0:07:07 Pauline warns God she’s going to indulge in some premarital sex (#headsup), and asks God if there will be any difficulty in forgiving her for this. Seems like AnnaLynne McCord also prayed to be a decent actress.

Excision 06 (WTF Saint Pauly)
Clapping Instructions – Step #2

0:07:32 Malcom McDowell! This film is like a trip to the basement in the Wax Museum of underground actors.

0:08:29 Marlee Matlin as the deaf principle? This film is growing on me, all warm and fuzzy, like a fungus.

0:09:24

Being in the same room with you and your daughter, I’m actually grateful for my hearing loss.

Principle Amber signing to Phyllis (Pauline’s mum)

I like a film that goes all in like surgery with a chainsaw. Hell, like masturbation with a chainsaw.

0:10:51 Another dream sequence. This time Pauline is crawling all over an androgynous corpse with half a mind to stay alive.

Excision 07 GIF (WTF Saint Pauly)

0:11:36

I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Pauline.

I’m Adam.

Forgive me for being too forward, but I want to lose my virginity to you. I’m clean and I spent my allowances on birth control. So…

0:14:37 Al K Hall nudity alert. In another masturbation fantasy, and after piercing her own nose, Pauline crawls over a swathe of swaddled naked females.

0:18:42 Adam calls Pauline to take her up on her virginity offer. Pauline detachedly instructs him to pick her up on Monday at noon. It’s been a business doing pleasure with you.

0:19:02 Then there’s that scene where Pauline holds her bloodied tampon to her face and sniffs it. In case you were wondering if you should let the kids watch this.

Excision 08 (WTF Saint Pauly)
Vampire’s Teabag

0:21:48 The mum happily watches her daughter get into a boy’s car to go to a study group, yet no one has any books. Must be cramming for Sex Education orals.

0:22:17

It appears you’re too small for the big kind [of condom]. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just… It’ll hurt less, so it’s good.

Pauline to Adam in the hotel room

It’s a small problem.

0:25:12 Sex scene where Adam comments on how wet Pauline is. She just wanted to have sex while menstruating. Period.

Excision 09 (WTF Saint Pauly)
Saucy

0:25:41

What the fuck!

Adam does a promo for my blog when he realizes Pauline is on her period while he’s performing oral sex on her. Bloody exciting.

0:29:54

Excision 10 meme (WTF Saint Pauly)
Mr Claybaugh reading questions out loud during a Q&A session in Sex Education

Lol. BTW, the answer is “no”.

0:31:44 I’d just like to take this opportunity to say that AnnaLynne McCord deserves recognition for daring to be so ugly throughout the film. She has bigger balls than most men. And I would know.

0:32:42

Excision 11 meme (WTF Saint Pauly)

0:35:40 Beautiful song (Nina Nastasia – Counting Up Your Bones) while Pauline considers an umbilicoplasty.

0:38:10 One from Pauline’s fap bank.

Excision 12 GIF (WTF Saint Pauly)
On the tip of their tongues

0:43:55

Pauline’s mum: We’re going to have to beat the boys off with a stick.

Pauline: Gross.

Exchange with Pauline in her formal dress and make-up for cotillion

I don’t know if I understood the joke, or wrote it.

0:47:06 At the cotillion, where she is much older than the other students, Pauline rape kisses a young lad with her cold sore. Herpes, the gift that keeps on.

0:47:20

I asked her to dance. I thought she was a retard. I was just trying to be nice.

Young chap with probable potential herpes

Why didn’t I write this film!?

0:47:55 Another beautiful folk song: ‘Too Much In Between’, by Nina Nastasia

0:50:28

I have tried and tried, and it is impossible to love her.

The mum telling her husband she wants Pauline thrown out of the house, while Pauline sits in the dark hall and sobs

This film is Charles Manson meets Gus Van Sant.

0:50:57 More chick folk: ‘I Say That I Will Go’, by Nina Nastasia

0:52:08 Pauline dissects a dead bird she found on the pavement. #fowl

0:53:51 Pauline tries on Grace’s oxygen mask for a breath of death air.

0:55:08 Very medical nude fantasy that not even Al K Hall would find sexual. Probably.

Excision 13 (WTF Saint Pauly)
Hold Your Head Up

Excision 14 GIF (WTF Saint Pauly)

1:01:09

Mum: What on earth would compel a young girl to carve a crucifix into her arm?

Pauline: It’s a symbol for the Red Cross.

Excision 15 (WTF Saint Pauly)
It’s a gas!

1:04:24 The doctors are recommending Grace be put on the transplant list. She hasn’t got ‘lung’ to live.

1:07:04 The parents are going into the city and have asked for a babysitter? WTF!? Pauline is a senior in American high school. That means she’s about 18 years old. I know youths who were babysitters at 12. Maybe the mum could have them babysit each other.

1:09:01 The father has to stay at home to babysit. No mention is made of who will babysit him.

1:10:44 After lacing her father’s tea with a sleeping agent, Pauline tricks her arch-enemy from across the street into coming into the back garden. Once there, Pauline knocks her out with some chemical on a cloth. Or by showing her Apartment 1303.

1:11:27

Grace, you’re not going to understand what I’m about to do, but someday you’ll thank me.

And then Pauline proceeds to render her sister unconscious.

1:12:46 Intense. Pauline cuts off all her hair and baldly goes where no sister had gone before by replacing her sister’s unhealthy lungs with the neighbour’s healthy set, using kitchen knives.

1:13:08

Excision 16 GIF (WTF Saint Pauly)

1:15:28 Mum is none to thrilled to see her favourite daughter and a local girl dead in her garage. The neighbour girl goes to pieces and Grace is in stitches.

1:16:02 The ending is a scream. Literally.

The ending leaves me feeling like Chinese take-out. Sated but still hungry.

 

Tally Ho’

  • WTF!?’s: Only 2 cutting ones
  • When to Follow: This dark and disturbing film is not for everyone. But for those who liked to be shaken, this film is uniquely brilliant.
  • What to Feedback: Watch the short that began it all at the bottom of this post!

All GIFs used in this review were created with the Imgflip online meme generator

Left Over WTF (Way Too Funny) Photos

Excision 17 (WTF Saint Pauly)
Homework for taxidermists
Excision 18 (WTF Saint Pauly)
A rough outline
Excision 19 (WTF Saint Pauly)
You, when you forget it’s Sunday
Excision 20 (WTF Saint Pauly)
Bored Games with the parents
Excision 21 (WTF Saint Pauly)
Her pimples form the constellation Apus
Excision 22 (WTF Saint Pauly)
A delicate operation

Prints suitable for reposting!

Excision 23 meme (WTF Saint Pauly)
“Hmm, heavy on the hemo, I need to put some more glob-in.”

What to Follow Up

sharkansas-massacre-01-poster-wtf-watch-the-film-saint-pauly
WTF!? review of another Traci Lords film
WTF!? review of a brilliant Teendie Horrom-com
WTF!? review of The Voices
WTF!? review of another solid indie film
WTF!? review of Amber Heard’s similar effort

 

Fernby Film’s review of more indie Horror
0-5 shot review of Wes Anderson’s Grand Budapest Hotel

The Original Short

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s