I shall be researching The Interview in depth, asking the hard questions and demanding straight answers to determine if it’s the solution or an inquisition. So read on only if you’ve already seen The Interview, or don’t plan to.
0:01:14 Adorable wee North Korean girl singing a capella sweetly to the camera before a large crowd and missile launch …
Die, America, die!
Oh please won’t you die?
It would fill my tiny heart with joy.
May your women all be raped by beasts of the jungle,
While your children are forrced toooo waaaatch!
I’m fairly certain this is the North Korean national anthem.
0:02:38 Dave Skylark (James Franco) is a Larry King-style chat show host. Think ‘Larry Prince’.
0:05:48 Eminem coming out as gay on Dave Skylark’s chat show is the funniest thing I’ve seen on Christmas. This exchange takes place during a live interview between Dave and Eminem. Skylark Tonight‘s producer (Seth Rogen as Aaron Rapaport) is talking to Dave through an earpiece.
Aaron (through Dave’s earpiece): Dave, I’ve got the lyrics. Say what I say…
Dave (to Eminem, echoing Aaron): What did you mean when you rapped…
Aaron: “I said, ‘Nice rectum’ / I had a…”
Dave: “… a vasectomy, Hector. / So you can’t get pregnant / if I bisexually wreck ya.”?
Eminem: I’ve pretty much just been leaving a bread crumb trail of gayness.
0:09:47 Aaron is snubbed by an ex-classmate who produces news on 60 Minutes (US version of Panorama), thus ‘real’ news. This is why I will never attend class reunions, or work for Piers Morgan.
0:10:12 Speaking of real news…
0:11:01 That hair raising story was interrupted by a live news flash explaining North Korea has just blown up a tiny, uninhabited island in the South Pacific. Aaron looks on wistfully, and not because he wants to live in the South Pacific.
Aaron: Dude, I want to cover actual news, not Nicki Minaj’s vagina flopping out at the Grammys.
This film is rife with one-liners of this nature. It’s the kind of funny we all think we are.
Dave (showing an article to Aaron): The Times printed it about North Korea. Read the bottom, after all the ‘death camp’ shit.
Kim Jong-un is a fan of Skylark Tonight, which is how they’ll be able to score the interview.
0:18:48 At the agreed upon rendez-vous point in China, a North Korean helicopter lands and Sook (Diana Bang as a female soldier that will provide Aaron’s love interest) descends to the tune of “Conquest” by The White Stripes and presents the terms of the deal.
- 1-hour interview
- Kim Jong-un will provide the questions
- It must take place in North Korea
Aaron: Why didn’t you guys tell me this over the phone? Or Skype ? Do you guys have Skype. Do you have Skype here?
I’m sure this film is funny because we make the same jokes.
Dave: It’s the first rule of journalism: give the people what they want.
Sadly, this is not as much of a joke as it’s meant to be.
Bill Maher: One hundred bucks, Skylark thinks [Kim Jong-un] is the guy from “Gangnam Style”.
Dave: He’s motherfucking peanut butter and jealous.
Aaron: He’s not jealous.
Dave: He’s putting KY jealous all over his dick.
Aaron: What is there to be jealous of?
Dave: Fuckers hate us ’cause they ain’t us.
Aaron: “They hate us ’cause we anus“? What the fuck does an anus have to do with it?
Dave: They hate us ’cause they ain’t us.
0:24:32 The CIA and her cleavage (Agent Lacey, played by Lizzy Caplan) ask Dave and Aaron to eliminate Kim Jong-un while they interview him. In which case, it literally would be a killer interview.
Aaron: They’re honey-potting us.
Aaron: It’s an attractive spy woman they send to lure men into doing shit they’re not supposed to do. How can you not see that?
I’m leaving this here because you’ll need it for later.
0:28:32 Dave explains that using ricin to poison Kim Jong-un so that he dies twelve hours after the interview is like fading to black before the “money shot” in a pornographic film. Which, according to Dave and many a gay male fantasy, looks like this.
0:33:48 Apparently, the CIA train their agents to David Bowie’s “I’m Afraid of Americans“. “It’s like Spike Lee saying he’s white!”
0:39:38 The North Korean guard searching their bags at the Royal Palace (or whatever) eats the ricin strip, believing it to be chewing gum, Blue-Buried flavour.
0:48:28 The scene where Aaron has to hide the cannister containing the replacement ricin in his arse will either make you laugh or cringe or both.
0:49:48 There are two ricin strips in case there’s another error. Like a sponge left in a body after surgery, I imagine this will be important later.
0:51:23 Kim Jong-un (Randall Park) pops by for a surprise visit, bearing gifts. You might say Dave is ‘busted’.
0:52:56 Discussing a tank in the garage…
Kim Jong-un: It was a gift to my grandfather from Stalin.
Dave: In my country, it’s pronounced ‘Stallone’.
Dave: If liking Katy Perry and drinking margaritas is gay, who wants to be straight?
Kim Jong-un: Not me!
This is the real interview.
0:59:55 Dave parties with Kim Jong-un and scantily clad young Asian women. I’m beginning to understand why Dennis Rodman spent so much time with him.
1:01:28 After a wonderful day in the company of Kim Jong-un, Dave has changed his mind about killing the leader. I’m beginning to realize I haven’t laughed in a while.
1:04:12 I needn’t have worried. The death scene of the guard who ate the poison is fairly hilarious.
1:06:32 FWIW, there are a slew of Lord of the Rings references in this film.
Dave: “I don’t know who Boromir is.” That’s such a Boromir thing to say!
1:07:44 Aaron places a ricin tab in his palm to shake hands with the Supreme Leader, but Dave intervenes by telling Kim he can’t shake hands with Aaron because Aaron is a Jew. Aaron is still wearing the tab when Sook pops by for a surprise visit.
1:09:52 Depressed over the death of his personal guards (the poisoned guard accidentally shot his partner in his death throes), Kim goes off on a tirade where he says he will burn all his population and destroy the world to assert his power. This throws a damper over the mood at the dinner.
1:11:28 Aaron begins snogging Sook, but WTF!? he can’t touch her with his palm because he still hasn’t taken off the ricin tab. If he touched her… she might come, but she’d definitely go.
1:13:04 Dave learns Kim played him, and that the prosperity Dave believed existed is, in fact, a sham. So, after his change of heart, he has a change of heart.
1:14:04 Aaron takes off his shirt, but not the ricin patch. They’re choking on this gag.
1:15:37 WTF!? Why must Sook hide when Dave enters Aaron’s room? Certainly Aaron could tell Dave he’s with Sook. The entire routine of “Oh my, Dave is pounding on the bed in anger and I hope he doesn’t pound Sook who’s hiding under the sheet (WTF!?)” is beneath the first half of this film.
1:17:32 Rather than assassinate Kim, Sook says a more efficient strategy would be to make him cry in the interview, that way the people will realize he isn’t a God. They want to put the ‘dick’ in ‘dictator’.
1:29:36 While Dave struggles to ask pointed questions during the interview, there’s a more physical struggle in the control room with Aaron and Sook fighting the North Korean technicians. I don’t want to give away too much, so let me just say ‘finger food’.
1:32:42 Dave makes Kim break down in tears on telly by singing ‘Fireworks’. The song makes me want to cry…and beg to turn it off.
1:33:02 Kim Jong-un also sharts live, thus proving he is not a deity because has a butt-hole. Icing on the cake, so to speak.
1:35:16 Kim shoots Dave in the bullet proof vest (I’m guessing, as Dave referenced one at the beginning of the film). In the meantime, some of his soldiers feel betrayed that Kim Jong-un is just a man and are going to the studio to express their displeasure at gun point.
1:38:06 To make their getaway, the trio (Aaron, Dave and Sook) commandeer the Stalin tank and drive it Stallone.
1:40:38 They shoot down Kim’s helicopter before he can launch his nukes, in a pre-emptive strike. Destruction always looks so good in slo-mo.
1:42:52 The lads make a break for the coast in a secret tunnel while Sook stays behind to ensure the future of her country. Perhaps by hacking any writer who criticizes this film.
1:47:27 While Aaron Skypes with Sook, Dave reads the last page of his book at a launch party. WTF!?
- WTF!?’s: 4 questionable ones
- When to Follow: A great film to get drunk to, because the humour will start to wane just when your inebriation kicks in.
- Where’s This Found: The humour in The Interview is certainly low brow and flags towards the middle, but you will laugh out loud at least once in the film. Intended to be a silly ditty and not a political satire, this is the funniest movie I’ve seen since Tropic Thunder. Beyond all the hoopla, this is a solid comedy that you’ll need to watch if you want to understand any joke in 2015. Out of a possible 10, I have 8 F’s to give
Note: As two readers voted for “That’s such a Boromir thing to say!” in ‘Other’, I’ve added it to the list.