WTF: Kingsman (2014)

Kingsman 45 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Kingsman 01 poster (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)-001

Spoiler Alert:

I shall be exploring Kingsman‘s secrets, investigating its file and breaking its code to see if it’s an asset or defect. So read on only if you’ve already seen Kingsman, or don’t plan to.

Watch KINGSMAN here

Kingsman 02 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Any closer and they have a job

0:00:34 Starts off with ‘Money for Nothing‘ on a boom box in the Middle East in 1997. Let’s hope ‘Money for Nothing’ is not a commentary on this film.

0:02:11 During an interrogation in a rebel stronghold, a soldier sacrifices himself on a grenade to save Galahad / Harry Hart (Colin Firthand some other blokes. Galahad then tells a survivor, “Welcome to Kingsman.” That’s one tough entrance exam.

0:03:47 Harry gives the dead soldier’s widow a medal of honour with a number on the back. If she calls that number and gives the code word, she will be given a favour, the nature of which she’s free to choose. As the favour she wants is for Harry to feck off and die, he gives the medallion to her young son, Gary.

I’d call and ask WTF!? Seriously, she can call only once but ask for anything? What’s to stop her for asking for a billion pounds or being the leader of a small country? What would you ask for?

[Edit 1: as some lovely soul left the addition ‘New husband’ (and trust me, I know just how you feel) as a comment in ‘Other’, I’ve included it on the poll.
Edit 2: As two under-satisfied readers included sexually explicit comments under ‘Other’, I’ve included ‘Sexual favours’ as a category. Also, a more innocent participant mentioned ‘spy’, so I’ve made than an option as well.
Edit 3: Another reader has asked for their own island, so that’s been added to the wish list, too.

Thank you for playing!]

0:06:34 Seventeen years later, miscellaneous hoodlums hold a university professor hostage in a snow-covered chalet in the mountains of Argentina. The soldier who’d been welcomed to Kingsman earlier (Jack Davenport as Lancelot) arrives to rescue said professor. All of the Kingsmen have names from Round Table, so let’s everyone have a good knight!

0:06:58 Lancelot defeats all the thugs but when he meets a woman with ski knife feet (the striking Sofia Boutella as Gazelle) he is of two minds. Literally. She splits him like a banana.

Kingsman 03 GIF Splits (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Hold my whiskey, I have to split.”

I’m pleasantly surprised to learn this movie is not the Harry Potter in spy school film I’d feared it was from the poster, but bears instead a 15-certificate. Harry Potter with an R rating: Hairy Rotter.

0:07:42 Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson) arrives and introduces himself with a lisp as the head evil doer. He then adds he vomits profusely at the sight of violence. Sounds like his career path is somewhat slick.

0:10:26 Back in London, Harry / Galahad is briefed by his boss (Michael Caine as Arthur) and an aide (Merlin, Mark Strong from Kick Ass, doing a very bad Scottish accent on half of his words and an American accent on the others). That the entire meeting is conducted through the lenses of secret glasses pleases the 10-year-old in me (yes, that’s a euphemism).

Kingsman 04 GIF Lens me your ears (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Lens me your ears.”

0:10:41 Merlin informs us Professor James Arnold (Mark Hamill), the kidnapping victim, is no longer missing but has returned to Imperial College. Like a child in September, he’s back in school.

0:12:32 Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin (Taron Egerton as the dead soldier’s lad) has grown up and lives in poverty with his mother and her chav insignificant other (Geoff Bell as Dean) and their baby spawn. It’s like Harry Potter’s step-family…if they were Muggers rather than Muggles.

[NB: The news on the telly is about global warming.]

0:13:46 At the pub, Eggsy boosts the car keys of a young lad who belongs to Dean’s gang (to the tune of ‘Bonkers’ by Dizzee Rascal & Armand Van Helden). Eggsy’s riding Dean’s car while Dean’s riding his mum.

Kingsman 05 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Guinness!? Don’t you know this is a gay bar?”

0:17:24 After getting arrested for this joy ride, Eggsy calls the number on the back of the medallion, gives the secret code and is released from holding faster than a rich white male.

Kingsman 06 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“What kind of candy, mister?”

0:19:01 Picking him up from jail, Galahad takes the kid to a pub and recites his spy qualifications. We already know he’s dexterous (pinching the keys), good behind the wheel (outran the cops in reverse gear) now we learn he’s also a genius and an excellent gymnast. He’s more than just a petty face.

0:20:52 Nice fight scene between Galahad and the youth gang. Well filmed and interesting, although I call WTF on the amnesia dart shot from a wrist watch.

Kingsman 07 GIF Beer with a head (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Beer with a head

0:25:17 After letting him get thrashed by his step father to test his silence under pressure, Galahad tells Eggsy to meet him at Kingsman tailors. On the way there, Eggsy demonstrates his parkour ability in evading the gang. He’s very good on his feet, but I’d like to see how good he is off them.

0:27:42 Origin story…

Since 1849, Kingsman tailors have clothed the world’s most powerful individuals. By 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War I. That meant a lot of money going un-inherited and a lot of powerful men with a desire to preserve peace and protect life. Our founders realized they could channel that wealth and influence for the greater good. And so began our other venture: an independent, international intelligence agency operating at the highest level of discretion – above the politics and bureaucracy that undermine the integrity of government-run spy organisations. The suit is a modern gentleman’s armour, the Kingsman agents are the new knights.

I still would not want to get shot whilst wearing a suit.

Kingsman 08 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
The fourth dummy

0 31:52 Eggsy joins a group of entitled ponces (and two more socially flexible lasses) in an underground bunker where they will be tested to determine who the next Lancelot will be. I predict the final three will be Eggsy, Roxanne / Roxy (Sophie Cookson) – blonde aristocrat who seems willing to sleep outside of her class – and Charles (Edward Holcroft), head dick (or dick head).

0:36:12 The first test is the dorm room filling with water while they sleep. Some of the candidates use shower hoses in the toilet bowl to breathe fresh air but Eggsy uses his fist to break the two-way mirror. Everyone fails, however, because redundant girl is made redundant (Fiona Hampton as Amelia). It was just a question of time, and hers is up.

Kingsman 09 SC Wet Dream (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Wet Dream

0:37:35 Galahad goes to interview the professor, but the professor loses his head – when it explodes all over Galahad’s face.

0:38:44 Want an equivalent of Harry Potter’s owls? To teach responsibility in Kingsman, the youth must choose a puppy that looks like them. Some of my mates already have a head start.

0:44:22 Because Scandinavian Princess Tilde doesn’t agree with Jackson’s plan, Gazelle kidnaps her and kills her guards with surprisingly bad CGI. More like CGI give up.

Kingsman 11 CGI give up (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
CGI-ay-ay-ay!

0:46:08

We each spend, on average, 2000 dollars a year on cell phone and Internet usage. It gives me great pleasure to announce those days are over. As of tomorrow, every man, woman, and child can claim free SIM card compatible with any cell phone, any computer and utilize my communication network for free. Free calls. Free Internet. For everyone. Forever.

Valentine

Yes, please! Just show me where to plug my SIM card into my computer. WTF!?

0:57:05 Galahad secures and invitation to Valentine’s mansion where they eat McDonald’s and Valentine implies Galahad is a gentleman spy and Galahad implies Valentine is a “futuristic, colourful megalomaniac”.

Thank you for such a…happy meal.

Galahad when leaving

Because they ate McDonald’s.

Kingsman 12 SC I'm lovin' it (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
The wine should always match the colour of the food box

0:58:06 WTF!? Some of the world’s top leaders are kept prisoner in Valentine’s underground lair, yet intelligence organizations the world over are incapable of looking at the rulers’ agendas and noticing the last appointment they all had was with Valentine? Thus proving once again that “Intelligence Organization” is an oxymoron.

1:0024 The three remaining trainees [see my prediction at 31:52] are drugged and placed on a train track, with the promise of escape if they betray Kingsman. Of course Eggsy and Roxy succeed this test because they have one-track minds. Charlie, on the other hand, gives up Kingsman and is booted from the organisation because he’s a rich pompous arse with a poor track record.

1:08:04 Eggsy is given a tour of the weapons room. Shocking signet rings to electrocute people, cigarette lighter grenades to get lit up, poison pens for poison pen letters (and people), and shoes with a knife in the toe that pack a kick.

Kingsman 13 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“No, we don’t have crab killer.”

1:08:52 Kingsman is not advanced enough to detect the tracer Valentine placed on Galahad, so Valentine pops by the tailor’s and gets a suit, making Galahad look ridiculous. Still not as much as that baseball cap.

Kingsman 14 SC Baseball cap (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Starting Finishing School

1:10:05 As Galahad decides he may as well surveille Valentine in turn, he sends Valentine to a hatter who sells bugged top hats. Because there needs to be a film, Valentine agrees.

1:10:59 As a final test, Arthur gives Eggsy a pistol and instructs him to shoot his dog. Merlin is conducting the same test with Roxy. This may well be the only test I could pass.

1:12:00 Eggsy can’t pull the trigger, Roxy can.

At least the girl’s got balls.

Arthur to Eggsy

If not, she can always take the dog’s.

Kingsman 10 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
When you look like a bitch

1:12:46 Eggsy is sent home and Roxy is welcomed as the new Lancelot. Methinks this is not the last we shall hear of Eggsy. Otherwise Eggsy would be over easy.

1:15:34 That didn’t take long. Galahad brings Eggsy back to his house and tells the young man the pistol was loaded with blanks and that the redundant brunette at the beginning didn’t really die but is an employee in IT. I wonder if Roxy isn’t a tad disappointed that her dog didn’t die.

1:17:52 Galahad attends a service in an ultra-conservative American church looking for Valentine. Not seeing his nemesis, he decides to leave, at which point a woman asks…

Woman: What’s your problem?

Galahad: I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out-of-wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, “Hail Satan” and have a lovely afternoon, madam.

I need a T-shirt of this.

Kingsman 15 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Rough Sects

1:20:22 A brilliant fight scene in the church where Harry/Galahad goes berserk and begins killing everyone, as it seems the psychotic effect of the SIM card affects not just its holders, but those in the immediate vicinity as well. [N.B. A shout out to my newest friend k.lai in the comments who pointed this out to me.] What I find WTF!? is how is Eggsy able to watch the feed of the riot on a tablet in England.

Kingsman 16 GIF Hot Head (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Hot Head

1:23:00 Valentine is waiting for Galahad in front of the church, where he explains how his SIM card functions.

In simple terms, it’s a neurological wave that triggers the centres of aggression and switches off inhibitors.

He should call it ‘tequila’.

1:23:12 This is the scene that makes this film a good film.

Valentine: You know what this is like? It’s like those old movies we both love. Now I’m gonna tell you my whole plan and then I’m gonna come up with an absurd and convoluted way to kill you and you’ll find an equally convoluted way to escape.

Galahad: Sounds good to me.

Valentine: Well, this ain’t that kind of movie.

And neither is Kingsman.

Kingsman 17 GIF Give it a shot (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Give it a shot

1:26:43 While speaking to Arthur about the demise of his mentor, Eggsy notices a telltale scar behind Arthur’s ear, which signifies he’s either a member of team Valentine or has had a face lift.

1:26:58 Arthur hasn’t seen it and the camera hasn’t seen it but I know Eggsy just distracted Arthur in order to switch the glasses of Napoleonic brandy. It’s the Princess Bride all over again.

Kingsman 18 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
From the maker of XO-Men

1:28:19 WTF!? The premise of this whole film is a bad metaphor? Valentine compares global warming to our bodies getting a fever. The fever is meant to kill the germs, so Valentine postulates the earth is trying to kill humans as we are like bad germs for the planet. He proposes doing the earth’s job for it. He doesn’t mention that the analogy is false because a fever is a cause while global warming is an effect. What if he’d compared global warming to sexual excitement? Would he champion a universal orgy?

Kingsman 19 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Dallas, England

1:30:02 I was right earlier about the drink switching, and now Michael Caine passes out like a high school girl on spring break. Eggsy takes advantage of him… by cutting into his neck with a fountain pen and pulling out a computer chip. There’s a major WTF!? here. Why doesn’t Valentine blow up the chip now that Arthur has been compromised, like he did for Professor Arnold earlier [see 37:35]? Eggsy should be fried.

1:32:48 The neck byte that blows people’s heads off also makes the wearer immune to the effects of the SIM card, but your minutes are numbered.

1:33:44 In order to destroy one of Valentine’s satellites with a portable missile, Roxy is going to go into the atmosphere on weather balloons that will explode when they get too high. I prefer Eggsy’s job. I don’t know what it is, but I prefer it.

1:36:02 Eggsy’s job is to dress as Arthur and infiltrate Valentine’s fortress. He looks gorgeous dressed as Arthur. If he was on my round table, I’d make sure he Came-a-lot.

Kingsman 20 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Economy classy

1:37:41 Eggsy arrives and evidently resembles Michael Caine more than I realize, for like a sober débutante, no one has fingered him yet.

1:38:47

Server: Would Sir care for a drink?

Eggsy (as Arthur): Martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously. Stirred for ten seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. Thank you.

1:43:34 When Roxy’s rocket destroys Valentine’s satellite, he promotes my Website!

It’s supposed to be working! WTF!?

Kingsman 21 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Is that the new Apple crate?”

1:44:48 Eggsy has to kill Valentine because of a biometric security override. Valentine’s palm came in handy.

1:48:58 Just when Eggsy is trapped like a rat, he tells Merlin to hack into the chips and explode anyone wearing an implant. Hats, and all the rest, off!

Kingsman 22 GIF Blow your top (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Blow your top
Kingsman 23 GIF Minds blown (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Minds blown

1:50:48 Valentine didn’t put an implant in his own head, so he’s able to launch the SIM card attack after borrowing a satellite from a friend. My mates can’t even lend me 5 quid. I need more evil friends.

1:51:23 Llol! Literally laughed out loud. Eggsy finds the Finnish princess locked in a cell and the exchange goes like this.

Princess Tilde: Can you get me out?

Eggsy: If I do, will you give me a kiss? I’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.

Princess: If you get me out right now, I’ll give you more than just a kiss.

Eggsy: Sorry, luv, gotta save the world.

Princess: If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole.

Eggsy: I’ll be right back.

Not butt of the joke, but the joke of the butt.

1:51:35 The apocalypse in London, or the afternoon of a football match.

Kingsman 24 GIF Taking the bus (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Catching the bus…with your face

1:52:22 WTF!? The button to end the world button isn’t a button? Valentine has to keep his hand on the touch screen for it to work? And this geezer is meant to be on the cutting edge of technology? When it comes to his technological advances, I say ‘Hands off’!

1:55:42 WTF!? Why does Gazelle turn green when she’s attacked? Looks cheesy to me.

[I would love if someone could please explain to me why Gazelle turns green when she’s wounded!]

Kingsman 25 SC Broke the mold (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Breaking the mould

[N.B. I asked for an explanation and was spoiled by your outpouring of responses in the comments section. Both Rob and k.lai referenced an earlier scene in Kingsman Tailors where Galahad explained to Eggsy that the tip of the blade in a Kingsman shoe contained a neurotoxin, and the action of this toxin in Gazelle’s blood stream is what caused her to turn green. Being the reasonable writer that I am, I thought they were full of shite and set about trying to prove just how much. Alas, I’m ashamed to say that my efforts resulted in proving the contrary. I found this article which contains the following photograph of a heroin user’s leg infected with botulism – a neurotoxin. Thank you Rob and k.lai for setting me on the right path.]

Kingsman 25a botulism (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

1:56:24 Eggsy throws one of Gazelle’s sword feet through Valentine, killing his arch nemesis. #StabbingPain

1:56:38 Nice touch – Valentine vomits as he dies because he can’t stand the sight of blood, especially his own!

1:58:53 To the strains of ‘Slave to Love’, Eggsy takes a bottle of champagne with two glasses and rescues the princess. She’s a lovely jail-bird.

1:59:07 Al K Hall nudity alert: The princess rolls over onto her stomach and keeps her word, giving the film, and Eggsy, a happy end. [Note: Click here for the NSFW uncensored version.]

Kingsman 27 SC He'll get bottom (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
He’ll get to the bottom of this

1:59:20 Directed by Matthew Vaughn. Of course it was! He’s the chap who made Kick Ass and X-Men: First Class. That explains why this film felt so fun.

2:01:28 Eggsy returns to rescue his mum from her boyfriend, whom I thought she’d already left. If she keeps going back to him what’s to stop her from returning again after Eggsy thrashes him this time? Like frozen ready-made fish & chips, I find this unsatisfying.

Roll credits

2:02:26 The theme song (Take That – Get Ready For It) is as gay as I wish Taron Egerton was.

2:05:12 Is it a law to put Iggy Azalea in the credits to every film?

spotify:user:11163671948:playlist:7cnVbsdLw515HOBkDdnjLY

Tally Ho’

  • WTF!?’s: 11 insidious ones
  • When to Follow: If you find yourself home on a Saturday night, there are worse ways to kill time.
  • Where’s This Found: This film’s secret weapon is Matthew Vaughn. While some of his movies may miss their mark, this hits the bull’s-eye. Out of a possible 10, I have 8 F’s to give

8 Fs

  • What To Feedback: Can anyone leave a comment and let me know why Gazelle turned green when she was killed?

All GIFs used in this review were created with the Imgflip online meme generator

Left Over WTF (Way Too Funny) Photos

Kingsman 28 GIF splitting headache (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“I’ve got a splitting headache.”
Kingsman 29 GIF Want some ice with that punch (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Would you like some ice with that punch?”
Kingsman 30 GIF A breakthrough (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
A breakthrough
Kingsman 31 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Hey! Are we coming out of the closet?”
Kingsman 32 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Self-five
Kingsman 33 SC Raise your glasses (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Raise your glasses
Kingsman 34 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Colin Firth’s audition for River Dance
Kingsman 35 SC Bad luck (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
It’s bad luck to open an umbrella indoors…for the other bloke
Raining bullets
Raining bullets
Kingsman 37 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Class went swimmingly
Kingsman 38 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Knows how to kill time in bad weather
Kingsman 39 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Pretty Woman 2: Pretty Boy
Kingsman 40 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
One is street smart and the other has street smarts
Kingsman 41 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“I assure you ‘Heavier Lighter’ is NOT a good pun!”
Kingsman 42 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Merlin’s magical talking finger
 Kingsman 43 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Defending the right to bare arms [take your time with this one]
Kingsman 44 SC Spiked drinks (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
The drinks aren’t the only thing that’s spiked
Kingsman 45 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
The queue to play Tom Clancy’s “Rainbow Flag”

Prints suitable for reposting!

WTF!? did they say?

Kingsman 46 Say happy meal (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

WTF!? do you meme?

Kingsman 47 meme street smarts (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
This meme was favourited by the official Kingsman Twitter account
Kingsman 50 SC Kingsman Tweet (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
And you’re still not following me on Twitter? @SayntPauly

Kingsman 48 meme rough sects (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

What to Follow Up

WTF!? review of X-Men: First Class, also by Matthew Vaughn
chloe-grace-moretz-collage
Bar None Booze Revooze of Kick Ass, also by Matthew Vaughn
abbie-cornish-2011-04-04-collage
Oh, Al! Booze Revooze of Sucker Punch
Fernby Films review of another Matthew Vaughn effort
Fernby Films review of an early Matthew Vaughn film

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11 thoughts on “WTF: Kingsman (2014)

  1. Dude, Sucker Punch was directed by Zack Snyder.

    Otherwise, you’re spot on with this review. my own comes up in a week or so (after I hit #1000) so check it when you can. I think you’ll find we’re pretty much on the same page this time.

    Like

  2. She turns green because the knife in his shoe “is coated with one of the fastest-acting neurotoxins known to man, so, very carefully.” As Harry Hart says to Eggsy when he gets his new suit and shoes.

    Like

    1. Rob, my good man,

      Thank you for your kind explanation, which certainly makes more sense than the film’s. Who knew a neurotoxin could cause someone to turn green? Or, who know other than you! Thanks once again, and I do hope you’ll be able to visit often and share more insights with us in the future.

      WTF Rob (Watch The Film),

      Saint Pauly

      Like

  3. you seemed to have skipped alot of scenes…
    Wtf MOMENTS…
    0:58:06 basically, Valentine got most of the leaders involved, including the president of the USA…basically..it’s assumed that the missing leaders remained untraceable because it’s being covered up from the media …(eg swedish princess)
    this is highly implausible, but it’s a comic book based movie…go figure
    1:20:22 You don’t need to carry the SIM card to be affected by those aggression triggering neurological waves, you just have to be close enough to a cellphone that has the activated valentine SIM card..
    1:52:22 It was explained earlier that the main human race extinction console/control uses a palm recognition control because valentine wanted to make sure only he can control it..,no hacker/others can trigger the extinction of human race..
    1:55:42 it was explained earlier during a scene where Eggsy visited the weapons room that the blades contains lethal poison..hence Gazelle turned green and died

    Like

    1. My dear k.lai,

      Thank you so much for your visit and attention to detail. ‘Tis true I skipped a lot of scenes, but I’m afraid the only way to avoid this would be to replicate the entire script and that takes more time and desire than I’ve ever spent on anything in my life. Instead, let’s go over your observations, shall we?

      it’s assumed that the missing leaders remained untraceable because it’s being covered up from the media

      I’m not sure I follow your logic here. It seems as though you’re implying that either a) those in charge of protecting world leaders haven’t noticed their respective world leader is missing because they haven’t read about it in the papers, or b) these forces are incapable of finding the location of the leader as the disappearance is not being discussed in the papers. Either way, my WTF!? remains valid as I state that the security detail simply need check the leader’s agenda, which would determine the missing leader’s last known location.

      You don’t need to carry the SIM card to be affected by those aggression triggering neurological waves, you just have to be close enough to a cellphone that has the activated valentine SIM card.

      Quite right. I went back an re-watched the scene and Valentine distinctly says (at 1:18:32) “Oh shit, he’s leaving! I’m starting the test now. I hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards.” Clearly, he expects the congregation to eliminate Galahad for him. That’s one for you and one for me.

      It was explained earlier that the main human race extinction console/control uses a palm recognition control because valentine wanted to make sure only he can control it

      Yes, indeed he and Gazelle do discuss this, but my WTF!? was not about hand vs. no hand, it concerned the fact he had to hold his hand there for the machine to work. I understand the need for security, but certainly using a full palm print would suffice. The idea he has to keep^his hand on the machine the entire time it’s operating does nothing to control against hackers and only serves to make the machine more vulnerable. Thus, more WTF-y.

      it was explained earlier during a scene where Eggsy visited the weapons room that the blades contains lethal poison..hence Gazelle turned green and died

      The kind chap who commented before you also made this point. Originally, I shrugged this idea off as I saw no link between a neurotoxin and turning green. Your comment inspired me to do research, however, and to cut a much too long already story a bit shorter, I found you and Rob were correct. Of course, the effects of real neurotoxins are not as drastic as those displayed here in the film, but I shan’t pick any nits with you on that score. I shall, on the other hand, amend my review to reflect this new information.

      Final score: 2 for you and 2 for me, which seems like a bloody fair way to resolve this.

      I would like to thank you once again, however, for the time, effort and thought that went into your response. That you read my review with such detail flattered me immensely and I do hope you’ll continue to frequent this site and “call me on my shit”.

      WTF k.lai (Watch The Film),

      Saint Pauly

      Like

      1. with regards to the world leader issue, as you saw in the movie…most of the world leaders actually were in on his plan…Obama, PM of Sweden, also see his notebook, most of the UK politicians had a checkmark next to their name, and Valentine commented that the campaign was a big success, they have total coverage……meaning majority leaders have been recruited…there are probably a minority that refused, …but this is how they explained it… the movied showed a newcast showing the Swedish PM pretending that the case of the missing princess is still under investigation when he knew exactly what happened to the princess, which means politicians who agreed to join Valentine’s venture are out there feedings lies to media outlets and preventing the truth from getting out behind the scenes…whatever investigation that are supposed to be going on are nothing going to happen…

        I agree with you with regards to the hands must be on the console bit….but to me it’s a minor issue, they could’ve easily explained that somebody messed up, it had a design flaw since the prototype was just completed 2 days ago….nothing that cannot be explained, IMO, obviously it had to work that way for the convenience of the plot..

        I was basically trying to correct misinformation with regards to one of my favorite films of the year..there is nothing personal…In no part of my original reply did I even attempted to insult…so the fact that one of your fan had to gallantly defend you and your thick skin needed to come to your rescue is really unwarranted and unexpected..

        Like

        1. k.lai!

          Thanks so much for the clarification. I think on the world leader point, we’re going to have to agree to disagree. The dungeon in which Princess Tilda is kept has more than one cell and I assume it’s because she’s not the only world leader kept there. That none of these leaders’ body guards or families would question their whereabouts seems a bit of a stretch.

          I do agree, however, that these are details. Kingsman is one of my favourite films so far this year as well, and the 8 F ranking I gave it is the highest ranking I’ve given in 2015. Honestly, I never felt you were attacking me, merely aiding me with explanations I’d asked for and pointing out mistakes I’d made in my review, for which I shall be eternally grateful.

          As for my thick skin, I didn’t even need to take it out for your comment. If you’re interested in seeing me being attacked, that took place in my WTF review for All the Boys Love Mandy Lane and Winter’s Bone.

          As far as I’m concerned, we’re cool, and I do hope you’ll return often!

          Saint Pauly

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      2. Obviously, it’s more than just princess tilde…Arthur mentioned about the growing number of missing persons..so there are more….obviously ppl (which could include relatives) are demanding answers as mentioned in one of the newcasts, but the authorities are playing stupid and pretending they are looking for answers as well….whether they can sweep things under the rug in this fashion, I don’t know…but it’s possible and not a huge issue here, IMO…anyways..I think the movie contains alot of details and tidbits were scattered throughout the movie, which makes it interesting and requires more than 1 viewing and some thinking to make all the connections between events/dialogues….I didn’t get all the details in until the 2nd/3rd viewing especially when I couldn’t make out some of the dialogue with the slurring and british accent/slangs…the movie is extremely underrated IMO…and the acting was amazing and the chemistry between the cast members are off the chart….really wish there would be more mainstream action movies with these elements

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  4. Sorry for deleting some of the comments, but we were getting slightly off topic and discussing things not related to the film. I truly hope I’ve ruffled no feathers in removing these notes and I sincerely hope that everyone will feel welcome to come here and share his/her point of view regarding the movies. Thank you! 🙂

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