NO Spoiler Alert!
…because you can watch the film for free before you read the review.
[Full disclosure: The reason I can find no fault with this film has nothing to do with my backing it on Kickstarter (proof)]
00:03 The static on the screen is intentional. Set in Miami in 1985, the film is meant to look as though it’s being viewed on VHS video cassette. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this technology, think Vine recorded in the dark on a roller coaster.
00:27 This is the scene in the trailer that had me saying, “Shut up and take my money.”
01:00 An Atari style video game called Laser Unicorns (which is also the name of the production company that made Kung Fury) comes to life when a loser kicks it. The player becomes the game hunted by the machine.
02:20 Kung Fury (David Sandberg, also the film’s writer and director) is called in for backup. He’s going to put the video game out of commission.
02:34 The quality of the image mimics VHS technology. Bad quality tapes would fall out of sync and automatic tracking would kick in, attempting to re-establish the image. For those of us familiar with the experience of watching VHS, this is uncanny. I feel like I’m 6 months old again.
03:44 Back story: After a sentimental bonding session between a young police officer and his older partner (Steven Chew as Dragon), the Kung Fu master (Eos Karlsson as Red Ninja) they were pursuing cuts the moment short. Literally.
With one fatal blow, he hit my partner. I could tell he was dead straight off.
03:58 Before our hero can exact revenge, he is transformed into Kung Fury.
I was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra. I blacked out and saw images of ancient Shaolin temples and monks, mastering the art of Kung Fu. It was an ancient prophesy about a new form of Kung Fu so powerful only one man could master it. The chosen one.
[NB. In his Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything), director David Sandberg poses this leading question, “Also, was it Thor’s lightning bolt that created Kung Fury in the first place?” (See 14:54)]
Kung Fury: Knock knock.
Red Ninja: Who’s there?
Kung Fury [hesitating]: Knock…cles.
Then he punches the evil doer into a gas container lorry and does the splits, but not in the same fashion as his partner.
05:44 I love this film like I love meeting a lover who has my sense of humour.
I’ve got the mayor up my ass like a fag on Viagra.
Viagra wasn’t released until 1998. I understand this might be an intentional anachronism, but the joke breaks the illusion of the VCR / 1985 theme so I call WTF.
07:21 In the police station, Kung Fury quits the force because he’s forced to have a new partner. He’s a no-nonsense cop who doesn’t go by the book, or read them either.
07:38 Hitler (Jorma Taccone) has come from the past (in the same alley Kung Fury received his powers) and steals a device that is more phone than mobile.
07:57 LOL! I wish this film would be my life partner.
08:48 Kung Fury’s IT assistant, Hackerman (Leopold Nilsson), was able to not only trace the call, but determine the identity of the caller.
Hackerman: His name is Adolph Hitler.
Kung Fury: Hitler… He’s the worst criminal of all time.
Hackerman: Do you know him, sir?
Kung Fury: I guess you could say that. In the 1940s, Hitler was a kung fu champion. He was so good at kung fu that he decided to change his name to Kung Führer. But it didn’t stop there. He knew of the Kung Fury prophesy and wanted to claim the throne… Then one day, he disappeared from the face of the earth and no one has seen him ever since. Until now.
10:16 Hackerman realizes that, with the right computer algorithm, he can hack Kung Fury back in time, like a time machine. Cracking the code could be BASIC.
12:44 Hackerman slips up and sends Kung Fury too far into the past. Like getting lost in Memory Lane.
Fuck, that’s a laser raptor. I thought they went extinct thousands of years ago.
Kung Fury, after a dinosaur destroys his skate-keyboard with beams from its eyes
13:18 A Viking woman called Barbarianna (Eleni Young) rides in on a giant wolf and kills the dino with the 7.62 mm 6 barrel minigun she’s wielding. This must be how the laser raptors went extinct. [Special shout out to Pat who, in the comments, informed me as to what kind of weapon she uses.]
Kung Fury: What year is this?
Barbarianna: It’s the Viking age.
Kung Fury: That explains the laser raptor.
13:38 Barbarianna tells Kung Fury to meet her at the God’s Drop, and that Katana will take him there. What she fails to mention is why she can’t. WTF!? Maybe it’s a lone passenger wolf.
Instead, Katana takes him there on the back of a ‘T-Rex’ with lizard skin seats.
[NB: Helene Ahlson, the actress who plays Katana in the film, is not the same actress who played her in the trailer (Joanna Häggblom). In his AMA, David Sandberg implies Joanna was unavailable for this film.]
14:54 A colossal Thor (Andreas Cahling) arrives to send Kung Fury back to Nazi Germany, and his flexing muscles sound like leather stretching. Meaning his skin is leathery, I suppose.
16:04 Kung Fury gives Barbarianna his phone number and a phone with which to call him and an advert as well. Adverts in direct-to-video cassette B-films are as 80s as Culture Club and parachute pants.
17:34 Kung Fury arrives in Nazi Germany thanks to Thor’s portal (not a euphemism).
Kung Fury could write for this site!
I’m disarming you.
Before Kung Fury, I never wanted offspring. Now I want this film to bear my children.
18:44 A long but original fight scene where Kung Fury attacks the Nazi soldiers in a format based on side-scrolling games in the 80s. Think ‘Donkey Kong Fury’.
20:46 After Hitler apparently kills Kung Fury with a fifty calibre machine gun he keeps in the podium, Thor, Hackerman, Triceracop, Barbarianna, Katana and a T-Rex arrive from a portal to destroy Hitler. Blasts from the past.
21:08 I’m not proud of it, but Hitler promotes this site.
23:24 After the ensuing battle in which our team of intrepid heroes defeat all the Nazi soldiers, the golden eagle decorating the backdrop of the stage comes to life and fights the T-Rex. Meanwhile, the merry band discover Kung Fury’s body and the film suddenly switches to Saturday morning American style cartoon. Now Kung Fury can have an animated discussion.
[NB. Triceracop shoots every Nazi soldier in the genital region because: “Triceracop can shoot a fly in the dick from 500 yards away, it’s his one skill that he prides on. He got top dick shot at the academy.” – David Sandberg]
24:25 Cartoon Kung Fury speaking to his Cobra spirit animal on a hover platform in heaven.
Kung Fury: Mr. Cobra, I’m a police officer and I need you to send me back to earth. Pronto!
Cobra: I’m sorry, I can’t help you with that. You see, you’re dead.
Kung Fury: You’re under arrest!
Kung Fury: For obstruction of justice!
And just like that, cartoon Kung Fury is sent back to the body of the real Kung Fury, who resuscitates. #Re-animation.
Kung Fury: What the hell happened?
Hackerman: I hacked away all of your bullet wounds, Kung Fury.
26:04 Hitler, now alone, becomes obsequious and tries to placate Kung Fury into joining him.
Hitler: We are so alike, it’s almost like we finish each other’s…
Kung Fury: Balls!
26:21 Thor brings the hammer down on Hitler and his metal eagle. They disappear in no time…flat.
Kung Fury: Sorry I ever doubted you, Triceracop. You’re the best damn partner I’ve ever had.
Triceracop: I came back in time for you, Kung Fury, because, damnit, I love you.
They’ve known each other for minutes and these are the first words they’ve ever spoken to each other. Unrealistic? No, American!
Two days earlier, in the future.
We return to the scene where the video game destroys Miami. In a Knight Rider tribute, Kung Fury is arguing with his car’s internal computer, the Hoff9000 (David Hasselhoff), about opening the doors while he drives. With the film and the vehicle, The Hoff is on-board.
28:20 In the alley where the boom box plays the radio, the golden eagle appears with Hitler enfolded in its wings. The swastika is shown on the edge of the killer video game.
Kung Fury: Wait a minute, I’ve seen that symbol before… somewhere. [flashback] Hitler!
[NB: In his reddit AMA, director David Sandberg says that “[Thor] accidentally opened up a portal to 1985 Miami instead of Killing him [Hitler].”]
David Hasselhoff sings the theme song.
- WTF!?’s: Only 2 that packed a punch
- When to Follow: Right this second. It’s at the top of this post.
- Where’s This Found: This film is the reason the internet was invented. The most beautiful thing about it is not it’s ‘cleverness’ although there is certainly enough of that, but the solid ideas that support it. Out of a possible 10, I have 9 F’s to give.
Look! Eos Karlsson (the Red Ninja in Kung Fury) re-tweeted me!
Left Over WTF (Way Too Funny) Photos
Prints suitable for reposting!
WTF!? did they say?
What to Follow Up
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