WTF: Chappie (2015)

Chappie 02 poster (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Chappie 02 poster (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Crappie: The film

Spoiler Alert:

I shall be examining Chappie to see what makes it tick, analysing its direction and testing its logic to see if it works or burns out. So read on only if you’ve already seen Chappie, or don’t plan to.

Watch CHAPPIE here

Chappie 03 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“You are literally heartless.”

0:01:56 A South African police captain announces the creation of the world’s first robotic police force. Have you seen RoboCop? Well, you will now.

0:02:10 Ooh, Anderson Cooper presenting RoboCop Chappie on CNN. Anderson Cooper is the Princess Kate of gay men.

0:02:54 Hugh Jackman as Vincent Moore, a developer who has a larger, man-controlled fighting robot that looks like the ones used in RoboCop. #CrapMetal

Chappie 04 Collage Recycled (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Recycled material

0:03:22 Dev Patel as Deon Wilson, a developer of the AI scouts who says he wants to give the next generation of RoboCops the ability to feel. Crikey, that would be a good idea for this generation of police officers.

0:05:56 The police are looking for the criminal gang composed of

who lead the forces of law directly to the lair of their leader Hippo (an incredibly wicked looking Brandon Auret), the King of all Badassery.

Chappie 05 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
The way to a man’s heart is through his Africa tattoo

0:06:42 Because the band of fools destroyed the drugs they were transporting (and by the WTF, if the police helicopters were following the gang on the motorway, why haven’t they arrived at the hideout yet?), Hippo makes Ninja promise to pay him 20,000,000 rand in 7 days. To make his point, he puts Pitbull down.

0:06:45

Chappie 06 MRW I know the answer and you don't (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
MRW I find the perfect comeback…during the conversation

0:07:48 The droids arrive at the scene with the police. The CGI work here is as flawless as Anderson Cooper.

Chappie 07 GIF  Name it (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Name it

0:09:46 The trio escape in a van, though Amerika is hit and and this time George Bush isn’t around to fight for him.

0:10:21 Sigourney Weaver pays Michelle Bradley, the head of the company that manufactures the droids. She looks as happy to be here as a suicide bomber watching training videos / a gay man in the Pakistan Taliban / a real actor in a Michael Bay film.

Chappie 08 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Describing his conception of the female robot

0:12:04 Scout 22, one of the police robots, is so damaged he’s been earmarked for destruction. Poor bot…when he finds out, he’ll be crushed.

0:14:51 The song in the background while Ninja & ¥o-landi plan the kidnapping is “Cookie Thumper” by Die Antwoord.

[N.B. The South African techno punk group Die Antwoord is composed of Ninja and Yo-Landi Visser – the stars of ChappieAl K Hall’s most popular Audio Dregs to date explores the phenomenon that is Die Antwoord and includes music samples, videos and photos. Well worth the visit. Hear here.]

Chappie 09 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Bird Mullet: Business in the front, party in her rear

0:16:34 Deon spends all night coding and has a dorkasm when he successfully writes a stable AI program. This is my equivalent of passing level 97 of Candy Crush.

0:18:40 A cat poster inspires Deon to go against his boss’s orders and install the AI software on Scout 22, which was scheduled to be demolished. Cat posters also inspire me – to never buy a cat.

0:20:06 Amerika and Ninja kidnap Deon while he’s stealing Scout 22 and a top secret chip (‘guard key’) that allows him to access the robot’s brain. Ninja’s team, using Deon, hope to find a way to hack the police scouts to steal the 20,000,000 they need to pay Hippo. They’re counting on Deon, and 20M is a lot of counting.

Chappie 10 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Eww, what was Chappie sticking in the ignition?”

0:21:28 The police force tell Vincent they’re not interested in his giant robot (the Moose) because it’s ‘overkill’. If they shoot someone with it, it certainly will be.

Chappie 11 SC Moose for breakfast (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Plot twist: Moose is also what you’re eating.”

0:24:26 The triplets tell Deon to build them “an indestructible robot gangsta number one son”. He tells them they’ll have to teach it like a child but it’ll learn faster than a normal person. It will certainly learn much faster than these lowlifes.

0:29:22 When the robot is booted up he behaves like a newborn until he learns a couple of words, like “watch ” and “chicken”. Because these are the most useful words in the English language.

Yolandi: You look so happy. You look like a happy chappie. That’s your name! Chappie.

Deon: No. No, no  no, no, no. His name is not Chappie.

Chappie: Chappie.

Could be worse. Could be ‘Deon’.

Chappie 12 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“What a test dummy!”

0:31:21 While trying to steal the guard key for his own robots, Vincent discovers Deon stole it before him. This is a company that needs to re-evaluate their security policies.

0:34:18 Ninja tries to teach Chappie how to shoot so that Chappie can be his backup. The only problem is that Chappie doesn’t want to give it a shot.

0:36:32 In the office, Vincent approaches Deon for the guard key. He slams Deon’s face down hard on his desk, insults him, threatens him, puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger, though the gun was empty. As he says he was kidding afterwards, no one calls Human Resources. WTF!? Talk about a hostile takeover bid.

Chappie 13 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Vincent helps Deon get into the literature

0:37:52

Chappie 14 SC Yo-landi offering to feed the crew (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
¥o-Landi offering to feed the crew

The back reads, ‘With a ass like this’ and an arrow pointing to her back end.

Here it is from the “Baby’s On Fire” video [photo credit: Al K Hall].

Chappie 15 Baby's On Fire (Bar None AlKHall)

0:41:19 Deon makes Chappie promise to him, Chappie’s maker, that he won’t engage in any of the gang’s illegal activities. Chappie listens to his maker religiously.

[N.B. This notion of creation and religion will continue to be a subplot throughout the film. Here Deon gives him his first commandment: Thou shall not steal.]

0:43:12 Vincent is against Chappie on religious grounds, as he believes robots should not be given man’s intelligence. Considering many of the men I know, replicating their intelligence is setting his sights rather low.

0:46:43 To teach Chappie a life lesson, Ninja decides he’s going to drop the police robot off in a bad part of town so Chappie can appreciate how good he’s got it at the abandoned factory. My parents did this to me. It was called ‘boarding school’.

0:49:15

Chappie 16 GIF Chappie has a hot body (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Chappie has a hot body

0:52:35 Vincent tracks Chappie using the GPS and knocks him out of commission using an electronic pulse gun. Chappie goes down like Enron stock or a drunk twink in a gay bar.

0:53:14 Vincent cuts off Chappie’s arm to punish him for thinking he’s real. Chappie would give his right arm to have it back but…

0:54:31 Chappie escapes from the truck but Vincent has taken the guard key. Chappie no longer has a chip on his shoulder, or anywhere else.

Chappie 17 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“I’ve got his back.”

0:57:02 Amerika reinstalls an extra arm that Deon left behind. Giving others a hand is so Amerikan.

0:59:43 Chappie makes a Yolandi action figure.

Chappie 18 SC Getting dolled up (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Getting dolled up

1:02:25 Chappie learns how to use an arsenal of non-lethal weapons (to Die Antwoord – Cookie Thumper). And gets some tattoos and bling. His Blue Tooth is now gold.

1:05:13 To the tune of ‘Baby’s On Fire‘ (Die Antwoord again), Ninja and Amerika teach Chappie how to car jack by telling him he’s stealing cars back from bad people for Daddy (Ninja). Chappie has got a lot of drive.

Chappie 19 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
One way to stop a car

1:09:06

Chappie: I’m titanium. I’m going to live forever, daddy.

Ninja [pointing at a guage on Chappie’s chassis]: What does that say there?

Chappie: ‘Low battery’. Battery, power, energy supply. Daddy, I need a new battery.

Ninja: Chappie, that battery’s stuck. It’s melted together. That battery can’t come out. Now, what you gonna do when that battery runs out?

Chappie: I die? Chappie die?

Ninja: Deon, he put you in a broken body.

Chappie: Deon’s my Maker. It doesn’t make any sense. He wouldn’t make me just so I could die. Deon loves me, daddy.

Apart from the fact Ninja is using this argument to trick Chappie into breaking his word to Deon and participating in the heist, it’s a valid religious debate.

Chappie 20 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Chappie needs a fix

1:12:34 Deon goes to pass time with his ‘creation’, but Chappie is upset with him and confronts Deon about putting him in a body that will die in a couple of days. Deon apologizes and says he didn’t know Chappie would turn out to be Chappie.

Here’s my rewrite of this scene.

Chappie: But you my maker. Why’d you just make me so I could die?

Deon: I didn’t… I didn’t make you so you could die, Chappie. I made you so you could live.

The italics is my addition. That’s so me, always tampering with imperfection.

Chappie 21 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“You’re breaking my circuit, Chappie!”

1:13:52 Using the guard key, Vincent downloads a bug in all of the Scouts so that they self destruct: a true computer virus.

1:15:34 With the police force offline, there are mass riots that threaten to destroy the entire nation of South Africa, yet still aren’t as bad as Liverpool FC hooligans after a match.

1:18:15 Before Vincent can delete the traces of the malware he used to knock the robots offline, Deon arrives back at Tetravaal to repair Chappie. He quarantines the virus and reboots Chappie, which also stops the deletion of the malware program. This scene does nothing to contradict the impression that ‘IT suspense’ is as mutually exclusive as ‘American diplomacy’ or ‘British cuisine’.

1:18:33

Chappie 22 SC Big Brother (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Big Brother

1:20:28 Chappie has a plan. He wants to take the neural transmitter hat to transfer his consciousness from one Scout body to another. Personally, I’ve tried this with scouts – Boy Scouts. And I didn’t use a hat.

1:24:33 Chappie has copied his consciousness and put it on-line. If another computer hacks into it and reposts it on 4-Chan, we could have ‘the Chappening’.

1:25:06 Song while preparing for the heist is still “Cookie Thumper”.

1:25:32

Chappie 23 GIF Walk About (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Walk About

1:26:22 There’s significant WTFage here. 1) When did it suddenly become day as Deon was still working on finding a solution in the night before and 2) would a bank really decide to send an armoured car with hundreds of millions of rand the day after a massive uprising when all of police robots are offline? Someone hijacked the WTF truck.

1:29:03 Vincent convinces Michelle, his boss, to let him use the big robot through cajoling and whining. Apparently acting like a baby works with powerful women.

Chappie 24 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“You loved more than this finger, Michelle!”

1:30:40

Chappie 25 GIF Taking out a moose (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Taking out a moose

1:31:28 Chappie learns Ninja lied about getting a new body for him and that he was only using Chappie for the heist. Like a toaster in the bath, Chappie is shocked.

1:32:58 Hippo comes before the Moose. It’s a real zoo over there.

1:34:23

Chappie 26 GIF Amerika is divided (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Amerika is divided

1:37:42 While stealing a van to get get away, Hippo shoots Ninja in the leg and Deon in the stomach. Deon has a lot of guts.

1:40:31 Yo-landi jumps out of the moving van, grabs an automatic rifle and opens season on the Moose, who shoots back. Holey shite!

1:40:44

Chappie 27 GIF Needs more lead in her diet (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Needs more lead in her diet

1:41:22 Chappie blows up Moose with an explosive charge he’d placed there earlier in the fight. Chappie performs the magic trick of turning a moose into toast.

1:42:19 WTF!? There’s no way Ninja, who was shot in the leg, could pick up and carry ¥o-landi around. The only way he’d  be able to pick her up is in a bar.

1:44:37 Chappie thrashes Morris for killing his mother board.

Chappie 28 SC A broken man (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
A broken man

1:46:38 Doing the robot Chappie transfers Deon’s consciousness to another scout droid. This is a step backwards in the evolution of technology.

Chappie 29 GIF Deon does the robot (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Deon does the robot

1:48:34 Oh bloody Christ on a WTF!? There are only seconds to transfer Chappie’s consciousness to an available scout before the police break down the door but a robot decides this conversation is worth risking his entire existence for

Deon [with urgency] : Come on, Chappie. Come on!

Chappie: Maker. [Deon leaves the terminal and rushes to Chappie’s side] I’m scared. What if it doesn’t work?

Deon: It’s going to work, Chappie. I promise.

Chappie: And you can never break a promise.

Deon: Come on, let’s do this!

1:49:58 The boys meet up outside the company, each in their new robot bodies. #AC/DC

1:51:04 Ninja discovers a flash drive with ¥o-landi’s consciousness on it. Is it just me, or is this highly insulting? All of your essence couldn’t fill up a flash drive? She doesn’t have a lot of memory.

Chappie 30 SC Who names thier shirts (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Who names their shirts?
Chappie 32 SC USB Kewpie doll (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
USB Kewpy doll

1:51:13

Chappie 31 SC Dolls make a fun-eral (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Dolls really make a fun-eral

1:51:47 The South African police have stopped using robots altogether. They are also asking for information on the location of Chappie. But can’t be bothered to visit the location where all of the money from the armoured car heist was tossed into the wind and the largest robot cop ever used was deployed and killed dozens of people and was also Chappie’s last known location and where Chappie and Ninja still live. WTF!?

1:53:04 Chappie remotely makes a ¥o-landi robot to the tune of Die Antwoord’s ‘Enter the Ninja’. She’s really built.

Chappie 33 GIF Turn me on (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Turn me on

Roll credits


Tally Ho’

  • WTF!?’s: 8 shocking ones
  • When to Follow: Saturday afternoon between 3-4:30 and it’s just come on Netflix
  • Where’s This Found: Out of a possible 10, I have 6 F’s to give

6 F's 139pt

  • What To Feedback:


[Edit: As a reader mentioned in ‘other’ “iRobot. DUH!”, this film has been added to the survey.]

All GIFs used in this review were created with the Imgflip online meme generator

Left Over WTF (Way Too Funny) Photos

Chappie 35 poster (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Chappie 36 collage Chappie branded (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Chappie is Branded (with the Die Antwoord logo)
Chappie 37 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
That’s one big pussy
Chappie 38 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Chappie tries to teach Yo-landi how to read
Chappie 39 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“I keep telling you, I’m not a fire hydrant.”
Chappie 40 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
I see what you’re aiming at
Chappie 41 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
It was at that moment, Chappie’s dream of cleaning windows crashed to the ground
Chappie 42 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“For an extra deep cleanse!”
Chappie 43 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
She stands on formality
Chappie 44 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Vincent didn’t have his gun, but he did have a one hell of a giant Thermos
Chappie 45 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Shoot all the T-shirts!!”
Chappie 46 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Good Lord! I’ve forgotten how to aim!”
Chappie 47 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
A shooting pain
Chappie 48 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Combustion engine
Chappie 49 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
The hat had been planning this sneak attack for months
Chappie 50 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“If they remove his hard drive, is that a vasectomy?”
Chappie 51 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Technological warfare
Chappie 52 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Scrap Iron Man
Chappie 53 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
More iron in her diet
Chappie 54 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
How Ninja makes extra money between scenes

Prints suitable for reposting!

WTF!? do you meme?

Chappie 57 meme need a fix (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Chappie 56 meme Plug & Play (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

What to Follow Up

WTF review of Ex Machina
hardcore-henry-01-poster-wtf-watch-the-film-saint-pauly
WTF of another ‘robot’ film: Hardcore Henry
WTF review of RoboCop (1987)
Booze Revooze of RoboCop (2014)
Fernby Film’s review of Chappie

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Chappie 34 poster (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

4 thoughts on “WTF: Chappie (2015)

  1. What about the scene at 1:55 with the orange ear robot was that chappie?, and when did that event occur in the movie? because that was confusing.

    Like

    1. Hi there,

      Please, please forgive the delay in my reply. I took a long break from blogging, but eventually missed this community so much I’ve returned.

      If you still care about the answer to your question: Yes, the robot with the orange ‘ear’ is Chappie. How he received the replacement ear isn’t shown in the film, but it’s used so that we the audience can distinguish between Chappie and the other androids. Hope that answers your question, and thank you for taking the time to read the review and leave a comment!

      WTF!? (Watch The Film),

      Saint Pauly

      Like

      1. Hi there. Thanks for your review and humour. The orange ear was his antenna replacement the first time he came back to workshop for repair at beginning of movie. He was then sent out and broken again and deemed irreparable and due for scrap.

        Like

        1. Hello Mish!

          Thanks for the detail. I thought I’d remembered something like that but didn’t have the energy necessary to go back and sift through the footage looking for the scene. You’re a rock star! Pleasqe come back again soo…and often!

          WTF!? Mish (Watch The Film)

          Saint Pauly

          Like

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