WTF: Star Wars: Episode 7 – The Force Awakens (2015)

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The Force Awakens 01 poster (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Spoiler Alert:

I shall be mapping out Star Wars: The Force Awakens, investigating its space and analysing its stars to observe if it’s a super nova or a black hole. So read on only if you’ve already seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens, or don’t plan to.

Watch THE FORCE AWAKENS here

The Force Awakens 69 SC Netflix & chill (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Netflix and chill

0:00:51 We learn from the opening crawler that the First Order has replaced the evil Empire and they want to eliminate Luke Skywalker, who has disappeared. The New Republic (a.k.a. ‘the good guys’) is led by once Princess Leia Organa, now a General, who is also looking for Luke, her brother. She has sent ‘her most daring pilot’ (Oscar Isaac as Poe Dameron) to a planet called Jakku, ‘where an old ally [Max Von Sydow as Jedi historian Lor San Tekka] has discovered a clue to Luke’s whereabouts’.

0:02:27 The Stormtroopers in the carrier ship at the beginning are a tribute to the landing of the troops at the beginning of the Spielberg masterpiece Saving Private Ryan.

The Force Awakens 03 GIF Landing (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:03:14 Lor gives Poe an electronic file with a map to Luke’s location.

This should begin to make things right.

Lor San Tekka

The first line of the film is an apology for Star Wars prequels 1-3!

0:03:24 BB-8, SW:TFA‘s (Star Wars: The Force Awakens) version of R2-D2, informs Poe and Lor that the enemy’s arrival is imminent.

0:03:57 Gloria Garcia, my Twitter follower!

The Force Awakens 04 SC Girl with rifle (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Gloria Garcia ‏@gloriasanti11 #girlwithrifle

0:04:42 Before Poe can abscond with the map file, Stormtroopers make good use of their selective aim by disabling his X-wing fighter but not hitting anything more consequent.

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0:05:28  In Star Wars: Episode 4 – A New HopePrincess Leia (Carrie Fishergives R2-D2 a message. In SW:TFA’s Poe entrusts the electronic file to BB-8.

The Force Awakens 06 Collage Leia BB-8 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:05:51 One of the Stormtroopers, obviously uneasy judging from his movements, is marked with the blood of his dying comrade. We’ll soon discover this is FN-1287, or Finn (John Boyega).

0:07:17 Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), SW:TFA‘s version of Darth Vader, arrives to interrogate Lor.

Lor: The First Order rose from the Dark Side. You did not.

Here, Lor references Kylo’s heritage as the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa.

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0:07:36 Kylo kills Lor with a crossguard lightsaber, following which Poe is arrested while trying to shoot Kylo.

[N.B. The Stormtrooper who pushes Poe to the ground is J.J. Abrams‘ fetish composer Michael Giacchino.]

0:08:36 In case you needed to be reminded that Kylo is evil, he orders the mass execution of the villagers on Jakku. The blood smeared Stormtrooper from earlier isn’t able to go through with this.

0:09:41 The Star Destroyer in which Kylo Ren and General Hux fly at the beginning is called The Finalizer.

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0:10:26 The Captain of the Stormtroopers (Gwendoline Christie as Phasma) tells Trooper FN-2187 to submit his blaster for inspection because she suspects him of not shooting enough villagers (and not because of his Stormtrooper aim).

[N.B. This is the first Game of Thrones cameo, as Gwendoline Christie is Brienne of Tarth in GoT. In other news, Phasma’s armour is chrome as it coated in salvaged chromium from a Naboo yacht once owned by Emperor Palpatine.]

The Force Awakens 09 Collage Phasma chrome (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

[N.B. Her name, Phasma, is a nod to one of Abrams’ cult films Phantasm, in which the antagonist uses a deadly silver sphere as a weapon.]

0:11:08

The Force Awakens 08 SC Finalizer (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:11:34 A young woman (Daisy Ridley as Rey, SW:TFA‘s Luke Skywalker) is scavenging a wrecked Star Destroyer for parts.

0:12:34

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The downed Star Destroyer is the Inflictor from the Battle for Jakku.

0:14:38

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The helmet Rey puts on belonged to Captain Dosmit Ræh of the Tierfon Yellow Aces. (The characters on the side are Aurebesh characters that spell ‘Ræh’, pronounced ‘Rey’. This implies she took the name Rey from the helmet, and that her real name, and lineage, are a mystery.)

0:14:43

The Force Awakens 13 cinematography AT-AT (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:15:22 Rey rescues BB-8 from Teedo, who only wants BB-8 for parts. Frankly, I’m surprised the little bugger gave up BB-8 so easily. You’d think it’d be the law of finders/keepers in the world of scavenging.

0:15:58

Niima Outpost is that way. Stay off Kelvin Ridge. Keep away from the Sinking Fields in the north.

Rey to BB-8

Henry Kelvin is J.J. Abrams’ grandfather.

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0:16:44 Rey reluctantly agrees to look after BB-8 for the night. I call WTF!? Why is she against keeping him? Why would anyone not want to have a sophisticated droid about?

0:18:24 Rey mentions she’s waiting for her family to return and it sounds like false optimism.

0:19:22 At the Niima Outpost, Rey sells her scrap to Unkar Plutt (Simon Pegg). Simon Pegg is Scotty in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek reboots.

The Force Awakens 14 collage Simon Pegg Unkar Plutt (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:20:26

Finn: Stay calm, stay calm.

Poe: I am calm.

Finn: I was talking to myself.

Finn (John Boyega, who J.J. Abrams and I both noticed in Attack the Block) breaks Poe out of jail because he needs someone who can pilot a TIE fighter off the Finalizer.

[N.B. Another GoT cameo. Thomas Brodie-Sangster appears here as Petty Officer Thanisson, and is Jojen Reed in Game of Thrones.]

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Thomas Brodie-Sangster as First Order Officer Petty Officer Thanisson

0:22:05

Poe Dameron: Hey, what’s your name?

FN-2187/Finn: FN-2187.

Poe: F… what?

FN-2187/Finn: That’s the only name they ever gave me.

Poe: Well, I ain’t using it. F-N, huh? ‘Finn’. I’m going to call you ‘Finn’.

[N.B. ‘2187’ was also Princess Leia’s holding cell number in A New Hope and a reference to the film 21-87 which inspired George Lucas to make Star Wars.]

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0:23:41 The TIE fighter is hit by enemy lasers and crash lands on Jakku, which is where Poe was headed anyway as he wants to retrieve his droid.

0:24:44 At the wreckage, Finn has only enough time to recover Poe’s leather jacket before the TIE fighter is swallowed by the Sinking Fields (see Rey, 15:58).

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0:26:17

Kylo Ren: How capable are your soldiers, General?

General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson): I won’t have you question my methods.

Kylo: They’re obviously skilled at committing high treason. Perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a clone army.

The clones here are a reference to Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones and the clone army on planet Kamino.

[N.B. Not only did Oscar Isaac (Poe Dameron) appear beside Domhnall Gleeson in Ex Machina, but he also previously shared the screen with Adam Driver (Kylo Ren) in Inside Llewyn Davis.]

The Force Awakens 16 Kylo Driver (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Oscar Isaac, Justin Timberlake, Adam Driver in Inside Llewyn Davis

0:28:32 Finn finds his way across the desert to the Niima Outpost, where Rey stops him after BB-8 recognizes the jacket Finn is wearing.

0:29:08  BB-8 is sad thinking Poe died in the accident. 😢

The Force Awakens 17 GIF Sad Droid (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
MRW this site has a slow day

0:31:47 WTF!? I’ve surely missed something. The Millennium Falcon is simply sitting on the runway, full of fuel and ready to go, yet no one is in it or guarding it? Someone simply left the keys in it and took off? If people in the present are too smart to do this, what does it say about the future?

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‘The garbage will do!’

0:32:24 Despite the Falcon’s not having been flown in years, it starts immediately and whisks Rey, Finn and BB-8 off into the galaxy.

[N.B. For those amongst you keeping score, the Super-Star Destroyer through which Rey flies during the chase scene is the Ravager.]

0:38:32

The Force Awakens 19 GIF Fired Up (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Get fired up!

0:39:30 A tractor beam pulls the Millennium Falcon into the giant shipping freighter Eravana, piloted by Han Solo. I call WTF!? If Han was just loitering about air space around Jakku, why didn’t he make an effort to recover the ship himself? That he happens to be in the same lost corner of the entire universe the moment his ship finally takes off for the first time in years…I find fortuitous, to say the least.

The Force Awakens 20 SC Eravana (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:41:34

Rey: This is the ship that made the Kessel Run in 14 parsecs.

Han: 12!

Here’s a running joke that ran all the way from the first film to the last.

Speaking of blasts from the past, here are other things we’ve déja vued…

The Force Awakens 56 collage Stow away (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

The Force Awakens 57 collage gas mask (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

 The Force Awakens 58 collage training remote (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:43:14 Han says he’s hauling Rathtars (the type of alien that caused the Trillia massacre) to King Prana, and that his ship is about to be boarded by the Guavian Death Gang.

0:43:56 Bala-Tik (Brian Vernel), head of the Guavian Death Gang, isn’t happy because Han borrowed 50,000 from him and 50,000 from Kanjiklub.

The Force Awakens 21 SC Bala-Tik (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Han: I never made a deal with Kanjiklub.

In a joke straight out of a TV sitcom, Tasu Leech (Yayan Ruhian) and Razoo Quin-Fee (Iko Uwaisof Kanjiklub arrive just at that moment.

[N.B. The Kanjiklub heavies are played by two actors J.J. Abrams noticed in The Raid, one of the best action films I’ve reviewed on this site. Update: A generous reader (who likes my sense of humour, so take that, you haters) pointed out in the Comments that I neglected to mention the cameo of the 3rd and baddest guy from Raid 2 – Cecep Arif Rahman  http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00078714.htm  Thank you for your assistance, Anon!]

The Force Awakens 22 collage Kanjiklub (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:45:48 While attempting to close the blast doors to isolate the rival gangs who are both after Solo, Rey accidentally opens the doors that are containing the Rathtars.

0:45:54

Han Solo: I got a bad feeling about this.

If Star Wars truly were a sitcom, this would be Han’s catchphrase.

0:46:02

The Force Awakens 23 SC Rathar (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

 

0:47:11 WTF!? The Rathtars have, up to now, been eating their prey immediately with no pause or hesitation, yet when they capture Finn, they decide to take him on a tour of the ship instead.

The Force Awakens 23a SC Rathar (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:48:56 After rescuing Finn, Rey and Finn join Han and a wounded Chewbacca in the Millennium Falcon for a quick escape.

Han Solo: We’re going out of here at light speed.

Rey: From inside the hangar? Is that even possible?

Han: I never ask that question til after I’ve done it.

The Force Awakens 24 GIF Takeoff (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

[N.B. Is it just me, or are the Rathars reminiscent of the Mynocks in The Empire Strikes Back?]

The Force Awakens 25 Collage Rathtar mynock (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:49:17 Bala-Tik radios a message to the First Order that the droid they’re after is aboard the Millennium Falcon.

0:49:37 Snoke (Andy Serkis) is Supreme Leader of the First Order.

The Force Awakens 27 cinematography Snoke, Ren, Hux (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘If Skywalker returns, the new Jedi will rise.’

[N.B. Snoke’s pose is said to be modeled on the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. in America.]

Lincoln_Memorial2

0:50:08 Hux wants to use the weapon of mass destruction to destroy the government that supports the Republic. This way, the rebels will be vulnerable and can be stopped before reaching Skywalker.

0:50:31 Snoke speaks to Kylo Ren.

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‘There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?’

0:50:48

Supreme leader [to Kylo]: The droid we seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon, in the hands of your father…Han Solo.

0:52:20

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0:52:58 While looking at the piece of the map BB-8 is carrying, Han speaks to his new compatriots, explaining why Luke went into seclusion.

Han Solo: He was training a new generation of Jedi. One boy, an apprentice, turned against him, destroyed it all. Luke felt responsible. He just walked away from everything.

That boy will turn out to be Kylo Ren.

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0:53:29 So, where did Luke go?

Han Solo: The people that knew him best think he went looking for the first Jedi temple.

Rey: The Jedi were real!

Han: I used to wonder about that myself. Thought it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. A magical power holding together good and evil, the dark side and the light. Crazy thing is, it’s true. The Force. The Jedi. It’s all true.

0:54:11 Han agrees to help by meeting Maz Kanata (Lupita Nyong’o) who will help them get the droid to the Resistance base.

0:54:42

The Force Awakens 30 cinematography Takodana (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.’

0:57:04 To get BB-8 on a ship harder to trace than the Falcon, the group must talk to Maz Kanata, a 1000-year-old Force-sensitive female smuggler who has built a castle with her riches on the planet Takodana.

0:57:30

Han: Whatever you do, don’t stare.

Rey & Finn: At what?

Han: Any of it.

They enter Maz Kanata’s castle, SW:TFA‘s version of the Mos Eisley Cantina.

[N.B. One of the main differences is that J.J. Abrams reintroduced the wolfman that Lucas removed from A New Hope.]

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0:59:42 Kylo Ren prays to Darth Vader’s helmet, asking to be shown the force of the dark side because he feels himself being drawn to the light. He refers to Darth Vader as ‘grandfather’ because his mother, General Leia Organa, is Darth Vader’s daughter.

The Force Awakens 32 CS Darth Vader helmet (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Show me again the power of the darkness.”

1:01:14

The Force Awakens 33 cinematography Maz Kanata (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
If you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people

Maz uses her adjustable goggles to get a better look into people’s eyes so that she might see what they’re feeling.

1:02:08 Finn finally admits to Rey that he’s not really in the Resistance, and that his main interest at this point is hiding in the Outer Rim, a sort of wild west in the Star Wars’ universe.

1:05:33 After Finn leaves to seek his misfortune, Rey hears the disjointed voice of a child calling out coming from the cellar. When she goes to investigate, she discovers a lightsaber.

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‘That lightsaber was Luke’s, and his father’s before him. And now, it calls to you…’

1:06:34 When she touches it, she has a very intense vision. This reaction is a demonstration of a new power attributed to Jedis: Psychometry. This is the gift by which a Jedi can tell the history and future of an object simply by touching it.

[N.B. There is much debate online concerning Rey’s lineage, with the two main camps citing either Luke Skywalker or Obi-Wan Kenobi as her geniture. IMHO, this scene is proof that Rey is Obi-Wan Kenobi’s granddaughter. The voices she hears when she touches the lightsaber are first Sir Alec Guinness (Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes 4-6) who says ‘Rey’, and then Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes 1-3) who adds ‘these are your first steps’.]

1:06:54

Maz: That lightsaber was Luke’s, and his father’s before him [N.B. Darth Vader]. And now, it calls to you…

1:08:34 In a panic, Rey refuses to take the saber, preferring instead to run into the woods to hide.

1:08:39 SW:TFA‘s version of the Death Star, which is meant to be a planet. #deathplanet

The Force Awakens 26 cinematography Starkiller (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Does this look like a planet to you?

1:09:09

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Seriously? A planet?

1:09:52

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“All remaining systems will bow to the first order!”

1:10:49 The Starkiller Base blows up the Hosnian system (SW:TFA‘s version of the Death Star blowing up Alderaan) consisting of several planets, including Hosnian Prime. This planet was chosen as a target because it was the capital of the New Republic, both politically and militarily.

[N.B. The Hosnian system is named after venerable high school teacher Jim Hosney, who taught film to throngs of people, including several of Abram’s producing partners.]

The Force Awakens 37 GIF Hosnian Prime (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“And remember this as the last day of the Republic!”

1:11:48

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1:12:16 Finn changes his mind about running away, so Maz gives him Luke’s old lightsaber to give to Rey, while the First Order launch an assault on the planet to find BB-8.

1:13:04 3 Stormtroopers fire 5 shots with 0 hits. Rey, a novice, fires 5 shots and kills 3 Stormtroopers. And, theoretically, the Stormtroopers were trained from birth to do this.

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1:15:18 The Stormtroopers decide it’s pointless to try and hit Han, Chewbacca and Finn with their shots, so they arrest them instead.

1:15:32 The Resistance, led by Poe Dameron, come to the rescue.

The Force Awakens 40 GIF Resistance (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘It’s the Resistance!’

1:18:37 As the First Order lose the battle, Kylo Ren finds Rey and, realising she’s storing the map leading to Luke in her memory, he puts her under his spell, picks her up and carries her with him as he orders a retreat.

1:19:52 General Leia Organa arrives on a troop ship and reunites with Han, her ex. As per usual, C-3PO ruins the moment. (C-3PO’s red arm is explained here.)

1:21:00

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D’Qar in the Ileenium system

1:23:40

The Force Awakens 42 SC R2D2 BB8 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“R2-D2 has been in low-power mode ever since Master Luke went away.”

1:24:48 Han and Leia go over their breakup. She blames it on losing their son Kylo when she sent him to train with Luke, because the boy had too much Vader in him. Leia believes Snoke seduced their son to the dark side, but has faith Kylo can still be saved. While Leia’s son is lost, at least Carrie Fisher’s daughter is safe…

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Carrie Fisher’s daughter Billie Lourd as Lieutenant Connix

Another cameo at about this moment is Harriet Walter as Dr. Kalonia, who treats Chewbacca. She is not only Lady Shackleton in Downton Abbey, but she is also niece of Christopher Lee / Count Dooku. 

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Harriet Walter as Dr. Kalonia

1:29:06 Kylo is somewhat taken aback that not only can Rey resist his mental prodding, but she can use the connection to read his mind and learn his biggest fear is that he’ll never be as strong as Darth Vader.

1:29:36 Snoke, General Hux and Kylo decide to destroy the Ileenium system with their massive gun before the Resistance can use BB-8’s map to find Skywalker.

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1:31:06

You will remove these restraints and leave the cell with the door open.

Rey to her Storm Trooper guard

The third try she uses the right tone of voice and it creates a whoosh sound which means she’s learned how to use the Force for mind control.

[N.B. The Stormtrooper whose brain she washes is none other than Daniel Craig.]

The Force Awakens 62 SC Daniel Craig JB-007 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Stormtrooper ‘JB-007’

1:31:56 Meanwhile, those on the new Death Star (sorry, Starkiller Base) start charging the laser by draining energy from a nearby sun.

1:33:26 Finn tells the Resistance how they can lower the defensive shields on the Starkiller to allow the Resistance pilots to fly in and destroy the base by exploding an oscillator. There is also this cameo by Ken Leung as Admiral Statura. Ken was Miles Straume in J.J. Abrams’ Lost.

The Force Awakens 60 collage Ken Leung (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

1:36:20 Han gets through the Starkiller’s shields by flying the Millennium Falcon at light speed. He lands on the edge of a snowy precipice and I’m reminded the Starkiller is simply a weapon built into a planet. Looking at this Screenshot of the Starkiller beside the Death Star, I understand my confusion.

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“They’ve somehow created a hyper-lightspeed weapon built within the planet itself.”

1:36:48

Han: What was your job when you were based here?

Finn: Sanitation.

WTF!? Then what was he doing on Jakku at the very beginning of the film with the Search & Destroy party? There are not many garbage men that have to massacre entire encampments. On their other hand, this does explain why Stormtroopers can’t even hit the road.

1:37:20 Solar Power

The Force Awakens 44 SC Solar power (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Remember, when the sun is gone, that weapon is ready to fire.”

The Force Awakens 76 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)1:38:10 Stormtrooper small talk.

Have you checked out the new T-17s?

The T-17s, as far as I can tell, are a great improvement.

Yeah, that’s what they tell you. But, believe me, they don’t hold up.

This harkens back to a conversation two Stormtroopers had in A New Hope, when they discuss the BT-16.

[N.B. This conversation is barely intelligible. I was able to quote it verbatim as I watch most of the films I review with subtitles on.]

1:39:08 Finn, Solo and Chewbacca pressure Phasma at gunpoint to lower the shields.

1:39:22

Finn: What do we do with her [Phasma]?

Han: Is there a garbage chute? A trash compactor?

This is a reference to Star Wars episode 4: A New Hope, where Han, Leia, Luke and Chewbacca were trapped in a trash compactor on the Death Star.

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1:39:51

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“General, their shields are down.”

1:4:28 My new favourite member of the Resistance is officially Ello Asty! He’s named after the Beastie Boys album Hello Nasty (J.J. Abrams is a fan of the Beasties), and the inscription on the side of his helmet is Aurebesh for ‘Born to Ill’. This inscription is a reference to both ‘Born To Kill’ (the text scrawled across Matthew Modine‘s helmet in Full Metal Jacket) and the Beastie Boys’ album Licensed to Ill.

The Force Awakens 63 SC Ello Asty (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Ello Asty is Born To Ill

The third Game of Thrones cameo is Jessica Henwick (Nymeria Sand in GoT) as Resistance pilot Jessika Pava (a.k.a. ‘Jess Testor’).

The Force Awakens 64 SC Jess Pava (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Jessika Pava / Jess Testor

1:40:48  TIE fighters join the fight to repel the resistance fighters shooting at the oscillator, which will trigger the self-destruction of the laser.

1:41:52 Finn, Han and Chewbacca meet up with Rey in the corridor of the Starkiller.

1:42:36

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“They’re in trouble. We can’t leave.”

1:45:28 While placing explosive devices in the Starkiller to hamper the First Order’s destruction of the attacking resistance X-wing force, Han comes out of hiding to confront his son (whom he addresses as Ben).

The Force Awakens 48 SC Senseless (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

I’d like to call WTF. At 1:36:34, Kylo senses his father dozens of miles away through space and a spacecraft, yet he doesn’t sense him when they’re in the same room?

1:49:06 Kylo Ren says he’s torn between the dark and light side and asks his father for help. The help he means is to die for him, because he kills his father with a lightsaber.

[N.B. We can even see Kylo literally make the transition from 50% Dark side to 100% Dark side.]

The Force Awakens 65 Collage Kylo Ren (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

1:49:21

The Force Awakens 49 SC NO (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Noooooo!!!!!”

1:50:32 Chewbacca, in his grief, shoots and wounds Kylo, then detonates the explosives he and Han placed. The oscillator is damaged, but the laser still will go off…in two minutes.

1:51:47 Kylo catches up with Finn and Rey as they make a break through the forest to reach the Millennium Falcon. He throws Rey against a tree using the Force, and then commences a lightsaber duel with Finn.

1:52:24 WTF!? For a janitor, Finn defends himself very well against a Jedi master.

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1:53:06 Rey regains consciousness and wins a Force tug-of-war with Kylo Ren over the lightsaber Finn has dropped.

1:54:14 Like in A New Hope, the resistance has to fly the fighters through a narrow passage to attain their target and destroy the Death Star Starkiller Base.

1:55:18 Poe hits his target and destroys the laser.

The Force Awakens 50 GIF Bulls eye (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

1:57:01 Meanwhile, Rey is doing much worse against Kylo than a garbage man, until Kylo reminds her she has the Force. He says he’ll train her, but just remembering she can use the Force is enough to turn the tide of the battle and give her the upper hand.

1:58:06 Before she can kill Kylo, the explosion divides the earth between them, and Rey runs back to Finn.

1:58:34 Snoke tells General Hux to abandon the planet and come to him with Kylo Ren so that he might finish Kylo’s training. His tone is so ominous that its repercussions will be felt in the sequel.

1:59:57

The Force Awakens 51 SC Go home (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“Our job’s done here. Let’s go home.”

2:00:51 Back on the Ileenium system, Leia, realising her fears are true and that Han is dead, hugs Rey tightly.

[N.B. If you haven’t had the feels for a while, check out the story behind the pink R2 unit at the bottom of the screenshot. The bot is called R2-KT after Katy Johnson, a young girl with a terminal illness who has become a part of Star Wars canon. Read the story here, but be forewarned, your eyes are going to water…]

The Force Awakens 66 SC R2-KT (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

2:01:22 Somehow, R2-D2 knows all of this has transpired and magically comes to life to complement BB-8’s map with a larger one for context. That way, everyone can see where the planet with the first Jedi temple where Luke is hiding is.

2:02:20

The Force Awakens 52 SC Map (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“The map, it is complete”

2:03:55 The goodbye party for Rey and Chewbacca as they take the Millennium Falcon to find Luke on Ahch-To.

The Force Awakens 53 SC Bon Voayge (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

2:06:05 At long last, Rey reaches her goal and returns Luke’s lightsaber to its rightful owner.

The Force Awakens 54 SC First Jedi Temple (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

2:06:21

The Force Awakens 55 GIF Luke (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Roll credits

Tally Ho’

  • WTF!?’s: 10 stellar ones
  • When to Follow: In place of any of the episodes 1-3. Or, if you’re a fan of the Machete Order, this should be placed at the end. If you don’t know what order you like, look here.
  • Where’s This Found: This film holds its own in the Star Wars universe. While I find it so similar to the original (Episode IV – A New Hope) that it feels more like a remake than a relaunch, I enjoyed watching it far more than any of the newer episodes (Episode I – Phantom Menace, Episode II – Attack of the Clones, Episode III – Revenge of the Sith). The cast, the story line and the absence of Jar Jar Binks, Ewoks or Hayden Christensen (who is a combination of Ewoks and Jar Jar, if you think about it), means that I count this one as a win. Out of a possible 10, I have 7 F’s to give

7 Fs 139pt

  • What To Feedback: In addition to commenting on any Easter Eggs I might have forgotten (or ignored), please answer the following!

All GIFs used in this review were created with the Imgflip online meme generator

[N.B. I used the very informative Star Wars Force Awakens ALL Easter Eggs & References ( FULL MOVIE ) video and Wookieepdia: The Star Wars Wiki as research tools for this review]

Left Over WTF (Way Too Funny) Photos

Left over GIFs

The Force Awakens 67 GIF A Stabbing Pain (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

The Force Awakens 68 GIF That's Cold (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Left over photos

The Force Awakens 05 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Prints suitable for reposting!

WTF!? did they say?

The Force Awakens 78 wtfdts Maz Kanata (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

The Force Awakens 79 wtfdts Vader helmet (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

WTF!? do you meme?

The Force Awakens 80 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

The Force Awakens 81 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

What to Follow Up

WTF Review

Star Wars Holiday Special 01 Poster 123WTF Saint Pauly
WTF review of 1978’s Star Wars Holiday Special!
WTF review of another Domhnall Gleeson (General Hux) film

 

WTF review of Fury Road

Bar None Review

Bar None review of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Fernby Films Review

Fernby Films review of The Force Awakens

If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it on Facebook!
It’s the easiest — and nicest! — way to say ‘Thank you’.

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WTF!? on Tumblr

WTF!? on InstagramWTF 

9 thoughts on “WTF: Star Wars: Episode 7 – The Force Awakens (2015)

    1. Hi Rodney!

      Yes indeed, it is a bit drier of a review. I’m doing a bit of an expiriment to determine if my sense of humour is driving people away in their droves! It would seem you appreciate the old me, so I’ll mark that down in the ‘funny’ column!

      WTF!? Rodney (Watch The Film),

      Saint Pauly

      Like

  1. Hallo Anonymous!

    Thank you for pointing out the missed cameo. As I recall, I found it difficult to locate Cecep Arif Rahman when I was putting together the review, so I opted to simply stay with the two of whom I was sure. Thanks to your link, now that has been settled for me! Your as much as saint as I, my friend.

    As for the humour…I first read your comment as you ‘missed’ the humour of my other posts in the ‘missing a bus’ sense, like you didn’t catch the humour! Upon rereading, I see that you mean (I hope, else I’ll look like a fool!) you appreciated the jokes in the other synopses and wanted to see them here. In which case, I can assure you that I’ve returned to the old style with every other article, and that if anyone complains about the humour, I’m sending them over to you!

    Thank you ever so much for the comment and your support! I do hope you’ll return often and point out any other aspects I may have missed.

    WTF!? Anonymous (Watch The Film),

    Saint Pauly

    Like

  2. I have a question – in Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back, when Luke lost his hand to (his father) Darth Vader, was he not using the light saber referenced above? Who found it? Where? and When? How would they have know it was Anakin’s then Lukes? I am I asking too many questions?

    Thanks and good article.
    Robert

    Like

    1. Hallo Robert!

      I’m glad you appreciated my article and am flattered you should come to me with your question!

      That said, I’m afraid the short answer to the question “How did Luke’s lightsaber get to Maz’s place?” is “Who knows?” This is basically what Maz Kanata herself tells Han Solo when he asks how she acquired it:

      Where’d you get that?
      A good question, for another time.

      The long answer is that the lightsaber was origianlly Anakin Skywalker’s, and when Anakin went to the Dark Side as Darth Vader, he kept it, but then lost it to Obi-Wan Kenobi in a fight. Obi-Wan eventually gave it to Luke, who then lost it in the fight you mention: the one where he fought Darth Vader and lost his hand. From the moment it falls into the bowels of the ship, it becomes lost until it reappears here.

      There are some non-cannon details which explain that it was recovered by a cleaning droid, then Darth Vader, then a clone of Luke, then Mara Jade who killed the clone and then it ended up in a Jedi Temple. But that’s the unofficial story.

      I wish I could’ve been more help, mate! What did you think of this The Force Awakens? How well does it compare to The Empire Strikes Back.

      WTF!? Robert (Watch The Film),

      Saint Pauly

      Like

      1. Thanks for reminding me of Han and Maz’s dialog on that. I had forgotten it.

        I liked TFA. However it did lack something that the Episodes 4-6 had. Something that, IMHO, Episodes 1-3 couldn’t come close to achieving. But it did bring me almost back to that feeling of the first time I saw Star Wars – A New Hope.

        I was 7 years old when A New Hope was released in the theaters. My oldest brother and my father took me to see it after its release. I was hooked from then on. Even though Episodes 1-3 didn’t have that “thing”, My family still watches them when they come home. Now I have a new generation to bring to the Dark Side

        Thank you.

        Like

        1. We are in total agreement! I found TFA to be a copy (albeit a good one) of A New Hope, yet certainly better than eps 1-3. Here’s to hoping Rogue One continues that trend!

          Thanks for the comment and the trip back in time…Star Wars truly is the kind of saga the whole family can follow!

          Saint Pauly

          Like

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