WTF: Deadpool (2016)

Deadpool 54 SC Down in the dumps (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Deadpool 01 poster (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Spoiler Alert

I shall be diving into Deadpool, testing its waters and exploring its depths to judge if it’s all washed up or off the deep end. So read on only if you’ve already seen Deadpool, or don’t plan to.

Watch DEADPOOL here

Deadpool 02 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘And you thought my ass was hot before!’

Deadpool 87 poster 05 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)0:00:20 Bloody brilliant beginning. The opening credits are a frozen 3D moment of frenzy from a scene which will soon be seen. Instead of the traditional listing of cast and crew, we get sacrasctic cards poking fun at the film itself – all of this to the tune of Juice Newton singing ‘Angel of the Morning’. The moment I saw this originality, humour and action in the first half minute of the movie, I knew I was going to get this film tattooed on my memory’s arse.

Deadpool 03 SC Coffee (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Caution: Rob is hot

[N.B. Easter egg: ‘Rob L.’ on the coffee cup is the first of many nods to Rob Liefeld, co-creator of Deadpool.]

0:02:25

Deadpool 04 SC Quick draw (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Quick Draw

0:02:26 A bored Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) rides in the back of a taxi, reading brochures about haunted Segway tours on his way to the battle foreshadowed by the opening credits. He finds a piece of used gum and, in flicking it off his fingers, lands it on the camera. This is the first indication that the character will break the fourth wall and basically sit in our laps, talk to us, and whisper jokes in our ears over the course of the film. Like a man with a micro penis having sex, I’m all in.

Deadpool 55 SC Headed in the right direction (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Headed in the right direction

0:04:12 Deadpool says he’s on his way to meet someone on his naughty list. [Spoiler alert: it’s Ajax / Francis (Ed Skrein)]

Deadpool: I’ve been waiting 1 year, 3 weeks, 6 days, and…14 minutes to make him fix what he did to me.

Dopinder [the taxi driver, Karan Soni]: And what did he do to you, Mr. Pool?

Deadpool: This shit.

PEEK-A-

Deadpool 05 GIF Boo (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:06:17

Deadpool [leaving the cab]: Merry Christmas!

Dopinder: And a convivial Tuesday in April to you, too, Pool!

Is it just me, or is Dopinder entirely too happy saying goodbye to a bloke who stiffed him on the fare?

0:06:24 Music for sitting on the edge of a bridge and waiting for your nemesis is ‘Shoop’ by Salt-N-Pepa. [There’s a link to the soundtrack at the end of this synopsis.]

Deadpool 06 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Deadpool is on edge

0:06:42

Deadpool [directly to the camera]: Oh, hello. I know, right!? My very own movie. Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? I can’t tell you, but it does rhyme with ‘polverine’.

For those of you who don’t recognize this reference, it’s to X-Man Wolverine. And if you don’t recognize that, this may not be the best film choice for you.

[N.B. A silly version of Deadpool first appeared in the abortion film X-Men Origins: Wolverine, establishing the link between the two characters.]

0:07:56

Deadpool 07 GIF How Deadpool gets his kicks (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Deadpool gets his kicks

0:08:54 In a brilliant chase (that includes the scene in the opening credits), Deadpool eliminates much of the competition.

0:09:22 Meanwhile, at the X-Men house, (Stefan Kapicic’s voice as) Colossus hears about the destruction on the telly, so he calls on Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) to help calm Deadpool’s waters and stop him making waves.

Deadpool 59 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Deadpool can be a drag

0:09:42

Colossus: When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?

Negasonic: Which benefits? The matching unitards? The house that blows up every few years?

Deadpool 57 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘Negasonic Teenage Warhead!? Can we trade names?’

0:10:47 After the cars crash to a stop, Ajax’s henchmen have Deadpool pinned down in his vehicle.

Deadpool: Wait! You may be wondering, ‘Why the red suit?’ Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed. This guy’s got the right idea [gesturing to a henchman]. He wore the brown pants.

Pool then proceeds to eliminate the bad guys he takes out, counting each bullet as he does, because he only has 12 rounds and forgot his ammo bag.

0:11:21 Ajax shoots Deadpool’s arm.

Deadpool 08 GIF Holey shite (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Holey shite

0:11:23

Deadpool 09 SC See right through him (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
I can see right through him

0:13:12 Great action scene because it’s long, original, funny, and it’s filmed so you can see everything, not like many action films where the action is blurry to hide bad film making. On the other hand, it’s not without its WTF!? For example, if there are 10+ bad guys: why do they wait for him to kill one of them before trying to kill him back? I’ve heard of taking turns, but this is taking a turn for the worse.

0:16:16

Deadpool 10 GIF Smoking guns (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Smoking…guns

0:14:23

Deadpool 11 SC Fire in the hole (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Fire in the hole

0:16:20 In a 2-year flashback, a pre-Deadpool Wade Wilson hijacks a loser’s flat to order pizza and threaten the delivery boy who is stalking Wade’s client (Taylor Hickson as Meghan Orlovsky). Wade Wilson is a ‘bad guy who gets paid to fuck up worse guys.’

[N.B. Easter egg: The name of the pizzeria, Feige’s, is a reference to Kevin Feige, Marvel studio head and co-producer of Blade: Trinity, which co-starred Reynolds.]

0:17:42

Deadpool 12 SC Place for dumping girls (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
A place for wayward girls to be dumped

Deadpool introduces us to Sister Margaret’s.

It’s like a job fair for mercenaries.

A nice place for people to take their shot.

0:17:56

Deadpool 13 SC Who's your daddy (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Who’s your daddy?

[Easter Egg: As Deadpool enters Sister Margaret’s, he greets “Buck, Liefeld,” in passing. Rob Liefeld (the coffee cup bloke from the opening credits), is Deadpool’s co-creator.]

0:18:41 Weasel gives Wade a blow job.

Kahlua, Bailey’s and whipped cream. I give you a ‘blow job’.

Yeah, other than the cream, I still don’t see how those ingredients equate with oral sex.

Deadpool 14 SC That's a lot of head (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
That’s a lot of head

0:18:50 Wade hands the drink to barmaid Kelly and tells her to give it to Buck and say that it’s from Boothe. This will start a fight in which Buck destroys Boothe…and is Wade’s way to try and win a fast buck.

[N.B. Easter egg: Deadpool yells the barmaid’s name three times – Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! – in tribute to Joe Kelly, formative Deadpool writer in the 90’s.]

0:19:38 Weasel the barman (T.J. Miller, whom we saw in Transformers: Age of Extinction) verifies Boothe’s existence using a pocket mirror.

Deadpool 58 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
A hold up

Weasel: Yeah, he’s still breathing. Nobody wins today. Nice try, Wade.

Wade: You got me. I picked Boothe in the dead pool.

The origin of Deadpool’s name comes from a chalkboard over the bar where people bet in a pool on the celebrity they think will next be dead. Wade bet on Boothe, so if Boothe had cashed out, Wade would’ve cashed in.

Deadpool 15 SC What are the odds (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
What are the odds?

Here’s the list, for those of you who are curious:

0:20:22 Seeing Wade has a wad of cash, Vanessa, a prostitute played by Morena Baccarin, introduces herself. After a night of skee-ball and putting other balls in other holes, they fall in a love as deep as Socrates at the bottom of the ocean.

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‘Gosh, Wade, you have a lot of balls!’

[N.B. Lifted straight from the pages of the Deadpool comics, Vanessa Carlysle is mutant shape-shifter Copycat.]

0:23:29 To the tune of ‘Calendar Girl’, by Neil Sedaka

Deadpool 16 Collage Keep it up, Wade (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Keep it up, Wade!

0:25:18 Wade and Vanessa become engaged.

Deadpool 17 wtfdts Your crazy matches my crazy (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

0:26:38 Wade promotes my site while passing out!

Life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness.

Wade is diagnosed with late-stage cancer, and that’s one stage he’ll have to exit.

Deadpool 61 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
“There’s something wrong with my sperm sample.”

0:28:09 The flashback ends and we return to the present, on the motorway amidst the chaos.

Now, if I were a 200-pound sack of assholes named ‘Francis’, where would I hide.

I love films that beat me to the punch line.

0:29:23 Wade gives Francis (AKA Ajax) a mighty beat-down before exposing himself to his nemesis.

Deadpool 18 Collage Like a radio active Shar-pei (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘Like I got bit by a radio active Shar-pei.’

028:46 Lining up his shot

I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s.

Deadpool 19 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Kill him, and step on it!

0:30:02 Before Deadpool can finish off Francis, he’s interrupted by Colossus, who knocks him back into a flashback.

Deadpool: [to the image of him flying back] I think we can all agree that shit just went sideways in the most colossal way. [Image of the figurine in the exact same position] Well, maybe not the most colossal.

Deadpool 23 Collage Things going sideways (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Things going sideways

[N.B. In a brilliant transition, we see Deadpool flying sideways and then, in the flashback, a figurine of Deadpool version Origins: Wolverine. The voice over implies that when Colossus knocks him for a loop things are going sideways, but his portrayal in X-Men Origins: Wolverine was far worse.]

0:30:54 Wade explains his departure to Vanessa.

Wade [to Vanessa]: We both know cancer is a shit-show. Like a Yakov-Smirnoff-opening-for-the-Spin-Doctors-at-the-Iowa-State-Fair shit-show. And under no circumstances will I take you to that show.

Deadpool 62 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Morena didn’t get the part of Rudolph, despite her nose…

0:34:26 A mysterious man in a suit (Jed Rees as Recruiter) meets with Wade in Sister Margaret’s and offers to cure his cancer by making him a superhero. Wade drops him like kryptonite.

[N.B. Wade refers to the Recruiter in the film both as ‘Agent Smith‘ (after The Matrix character) and Jared, after Jared Fogle, an American advert celebrity who was jailed for child porn (Wade makes several references to the Recruiter being a paedophile).]

0:38:32 Back to the present and the fight scene on the bridge. While Deadpool has Ajax pinned to a concrete block with a sabre, Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead try to convince Deadpool to become an X-Man.

The day I decide to become a crime-fighting, shit-swizzler who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at the Neverland mansion of some creepy, old, bald, Heaven’s Gate-looking motherfucker… On that day, I’ll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request.

Deadpool 20 Marshall Applewhite (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Heaven’s Gate mother-fucker

[N.B. Here Deadpool references Neverland mansion, Michael Jackson’s manor where he invited children over to get drunk and sexually abused, as well as Marshall Applewhite, the head of a suicide cult called Haven’s Gate (who looks vaguely like Professor X, head of the X-Men).]

0:39:06 During Deadpool’s rant Ajax makes a clean getaway.

Deadpool 21 GIF When someone eats my Olive Garden leftovers (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
MRW I catch someone eating my restaurant leftovers from the fridge

0:39:28 Deadpool breaks both of his wrists and one leg while fighting Colossus.

Deadpool 22 SC All of the dinosaurs feared the T-Rex (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘All of the dinosaurs feared the T-Rex’

0:40:02

Colossus: Let us go talk to the professor.

Deadpool: McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are so confusing.

[N.B. Pool is referring to James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart who have both played Professor Charles Francis ‘X’ Xavier in different X-Men films. McAvoy’s Professor X came after Stewart’s chronologically but was the younger version of the man, hence Deadpool’s remark about the ‘confusing timeline’.]

0:40:38 Deadpool’s escape plan.

Have you seen 127 Hours? Spoiler alert. … Are you there, God? It’s me Margaret.

[N.B. 127 Hours is a film in which a man must cut off his own arm to survive being trapped in a ravine, and Are you there God… is a book about a girl who has her first period, which Deadpool references because of all the blood coming from his severed wrist.]

Deadpool 24 GIF First Deadpool gives him a hand (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
First Deadpool gives him a hand …

0:40:45

Deadpool 25 GIF Then he gives him the finger (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Then he gives him the finger

0:41:24 Flashback to when Wade gives in and decides to go to the clinic the Recruiter mentioned at 34:26. #HealthCareless

Please don’t make the super-suit green. Or animated.

A reference to actor Ryan Reynolds’ disastrous turn as the Green Lantern, where his CGI suit was widely criticized, along with everything else in the film.

0:41:38

Deadpool 26 Collage A lady with backbone (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
A lady with backbone

[N.B. The Internet seems to think this is the mutant Marrow, and who am I to disagree with the world-wide web?]

0:43:11 Ajax arrives as the doctor about to do the procedure, and his bedside manners are as cold as his hands.

Ajax: I’m injecting you with a serum that activates any mutant genes lurking in your DNA. For it to work, we need to subject you to extreme tests.

I’m having flashbacks to finals in uni.

Deadpool 27 SC Bloody medecine (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Bloody medicine

[N.B. Easter Egg: The blood in the vial is Wolverine’s, which is part of the link between the characters and also from whence Deadpool receives his regenerative qualities.]

0:43:57 Ajax explains to Wade that everyone reacts differently to the serum. Angel Dust (Gina Carano as Ajax’s hefty brunette assistant) was given extra human strength. Ajax himself has enhanced reflexes and no longer feels pain…or anything else. Those who feel no pain are sure to be one.

0:45:12 So that the adrenaline will act as a catalyst and activate the mutant genes, Wade is subjected to a torture montage with ‘Mister Sandman’ as the soundtrack.

Deadpool 63 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘Give it to me straight, doctor, and then give it to me gay.’

0:45:56 Wade discusses his ‘Fuck-it list’ with another patient.

Wade: Giving Meredith Baxter-Birney a Dutch oven.

Patient (Hugh Scott as David Cunningham): No. Receiving a Dutch oven from Meredith Baxter-Birney.

According to the Urban Dictionary, a Dutch oven is a ‘sex’ act involving trapping your partner’s face under a blanket and then passing wind in that headspace.

[N.B. Easter egg: ‘David Cunningham’ is, in fact, Worm, a mutant Deadpool befriended in Dr. Killebrew’s laboratory where Francis / Ajax served as enforcer.]

0:47:11 Wade learns (from a dry cleaning ticket) that Ajax’s real name is Francis. Francis is not all all pleased. But at least his clothes are pressed.

Francis: Why don’t you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up, or I’ll sew your pretty mouth shut.

[N.B. This Easter egg is a another reference to Deadpool’s appearance in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, where Deadpool was portrayed with his mouth sealed shut.]

Deadpool 28 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
His lips are sealed

0:50:24 During oxygen deprivation torture, Wade’s mutation kicks in and his skin necrotizes, making him look like bowl of pink, cancer-free oatmeal. ‘Cancer-free’ because now his body has super self-healing power.

0:52:52 When Wade head butted Angel earlier, he took her match without her realizing it. Later, he used the match to ignite the oxygen chamber they are torturing him in. The resulting explosion burns Francis up.

0:54:50 Wade stays in the lab so he can get his arse kicked.

Deadpool 29 SC Stick to it, Wade (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Stick to it, Wade

[N.B. Far be it from me to point out that one can see more than just Reynold’s asset in this screenshot. #dickpick]

0:56:30 The building is destroyed but Wade learns he can’t be.

Deadpool 30 cinematography The cure to el everything (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘I didn’t just get the cure to el cancer. I got the cure to el everything.’

0:59:18 Wade returns to Sister Margaret’s to brainstorm a plan with Weasel. Wade wants to find Francis, so Francis can give Wade his face back, so Wade can get his Vanessa back.

Deadpool 31 SC Avacado (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado. Not gently. Like it was hate-fucking.’

0:59:42 Wade realises he needs to wear a suit and mask to hide from Francis, who thinks Wade is dead, so that he can track Francis down in secrecy. During their quest for alter egos…

Weasel: Oh, shit.

Wade: What?

Weasel: I put all my money on you and now I just realised I’m never gonna win the…

Wade: Dead pool.

1:00:11 Deadpool goes through a series of Ajax’s henchmen to work his way up to his nemesis, with the Deadpool rap in the background.

1:02:17

Deadpool 32 SC Tell me where your boss is (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘Tell me where your boss is or you’re going to die…in five minutes.’

1:03:28 Deadpool finds the mysterious recruiter who introduced Deadpool to the Mutant Factory. He gives up Francis’s location, but not before an act to his ‘little piggy’ that is heard but not seen.

1:03:50 This brings us up to speed in fast forward – with a little detour.

Deadpool 33 GIF My typical date night (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
My typical date night

1:04:44 Deadpool introduces us to Blind Al (Leslie Uggams), the elderly blind woman from the laundrette who told him wearing red would hide his blood stains. They live in sin, together, just not the same sins.

Deadpool: She’s like Robin to my Batman except she’s old, and black, and blind. And I think she’s in love with me. Wait, pretty sure Robin loves Batman, too.

1:07:08 Francis returns to the mutant factory, where Angel Dust is prepping new mutants for shipment like mail-order vigilantes.

1:08:26 Wade’s severed hand is regenerating which is amusing, because you know what they say about men with small hands. #SmallGloves

Deadpool 34 SC Can Wade get a hand (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Can Wade get a hand?

1:08:48

Wade [explaining to Al the importance of physical looks in life]: You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on his superior acting method!?

1:11:05 Weasel lets Wade know that Ajax and Angel are on their way to torture Vanessa, who works in a strip club. The two men get there first to head off the enemies. [NSFW Screenshot: Bare necessities]

1:11:15 Stan Lee’s cameo is he’s a DJ in the club, which means he’s an ‘X’ man.

Deadpool 36 SC Lucky Lee (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Lucky Lee

1:13:51 Because Wade cares more about his looks than Vanessa’s safety, he hides in the toilets long enough for Ajax and Angel to kidnap her. WTF!?

1:15:32 While amassing guns and ammo for the confrontation with Ajax, Deadpool throws in a copy of the People magazine with Hugh Jackman as the ‘sexiest man alive’. This is a nice bookend to the Ryan Reynolds issue shown in the opening credits. Wolverine and Deadpool have so much in common.

Deadpool 37 Collage Under the covers (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
I’d love to meet them between the covers!

1:15:41 Wade to Blind Al who is bringing him a machine gun, barrel first:

Careful with that Ronnie Milsap. We’re down range.

For the curious cats, Ronnie Milsap is a blind American country music artist. Because, Al is as blind as love, remember?

1:16:48

Deadpool 38 SC It's hella-something (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Helicarrier or not…it’s hella-something

[N.B. The climactic battle takes place on a craft designed to resemble a downed Shield Helicarrier.]

1:17:48 Wade goes to recruit Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead to help him get Vanessa back.

Deadpool: Ripley, from Alien³!

Deadpool 39 GIF Fuck you're old (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
MRW Someone calls me ‘brah’

1:18:18

Deadpool [to Negasonic, about the X-Men residence]: It’s a big house. It’s funny that I only ever see two of you. It’s almost like the studio couldn’t afford another X-Man.

1:20:07

Dopinder: Knock ‘em dead, Pool boy!

Deadpool: Time to make the chimi-fuckin’-changas.

So much better than doughnuts.

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They’ve got a fighting chance

1:20:31 The song playing while Deadpool, Negasonic and Colossus make their grand entrance is ‘X Gon’ Give It To Ya’ by DMX.

1:21:34

Ajax: Wade Wilson, what’s my name?

Because throughout the entire film, Deadpool refuses to call him Ajax. What’s in a name? A lot, if you’re called ‘Francis’.

1:21:47

Deadpool 40 GIF Down and dirty (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Down and dirty

Deadpool [talking about Angel arriving from atop the helicarrier]: Super hero landing! Wait for it. Whoo! Super hero landing! You know, that’s really hard on your knees. Totally impractical. They all do it.

Deadpool 41 Collage Assume the position (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Assume the position

1:25:25

[N.B. Easter egg: Deadpool realises one of the people he’s fighting against is his friend Hydra Bob (kind of), from special forces. Instead of killing him, he gives him a break concussion. Another Easter egg inside the Easter egg (wait, that’s like 16 Easter eggs 😉 ) is that Deadpool refers to Bob’s wife Alison as ‘Gail’ in a shout out to Gail Simone, regarded as one of the best Deadpool writers.]

1:25:38

Deadpool 42 SC Double breasted suit (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Double breasted suit

1:25:58

Deadpool 43 SC I'ma spell it out for ya (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘I’ma spell it out for ya.’

1:27:10 Wade arrives on top of the warship to confront Francis, while Vanessa is trapped in the oxygen tank torture device used on Wade earlier in the film. They share everything, those two.

1:28:54 Wade and Ajax are disarmed.

Ajax: Fine. Fists.

Deadpool: Sounds like your last Saturday night.

Reference to this sexual position.

1:29:40 Vanessa escapes the oxygen chamber and, by running Ajax through with a sabre, saves Deadpool from getting his ass and all the rest of him kicked.

Deadpool 44 SC He got the point (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
He got the point

1:30:12 Wade has hallucinations while recovering from the knife wound. Like the blade, it’s all in his head.

Deadpool 45 SC An animated discussion (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
An animated discussion

[N.B. The song playing is ‘You’re the Inspiration’, by Chicago. Easter egg: The cartoon characters are a reference to writer Daniel Way’s habit of adding them to Deadpool’s comics, sometimes referred to as Pool-o-Vision.]

1:30:57 The tide of the battle turns when Deadpool removes the knife from his skull and Negasonic explodes Angel to save Colossus. Maybe now Angel will become one. 👼

Deadpool 65 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
An Angel with a dirty face

1:32:16 Negasonic’s explosion also knocks the warship off its supports and the entire construction falls to the ground like Dolly Parton’s boobs after 40.

1:34:47 Wade learns that Francis can’t fix the damage that was done to his face, so he cocks the .45 he took from Blind Al and places it against Francis’s forehead.

Deadpool 66 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
His English is like his groin: a lttle rusty

Colossus: Wade! Four or five moments. … Four or five moments, that all it takes.

Deadpool: To?

Colossus: Be a hero. Everyone thinks is a full-time job. Wake up a hero, brush your teeth a hero, go to work a hero. Not true. Over a lifetime there are only four or five moments that really matter. Moments when you’re offered a choice. To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend… spare an enemy. In these moments, everything else falls away. The way the world sees us. The way we–

BLAM

[Wade pulls the trigger. Colossus vomits.]

This scene was critical to my appreciation of the film. Had Wade changed his mind and decided to ‘become a hero’, it would’ve gone against everything the film stands for and there’s no turning back from that kind of betrayal. This ending was loyal to the spirit of the film and the character, and that kind of loyalty deserved to be recognised.

1:37:52

Baby, the guy under this mask, he ain’t the same one you remember.

Deadpool 48 SC Masking his feelings (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Masking his feelings

1:38:48

Vanessa: After a brief adjustment period and a bunch of drinks, it’s a face I’d be happy to sit on.

Deadpool 47 SC The ugly truth (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
The ugly truth

1:39:21

Wade: [to Colossus] Tell Beast to stop shitting on my lawn. And you [to Negasonic], chicken noodle, nothing compares to you. Sinead O’Connor 1990. Sorry.

Reference to a beautiful cover of a Prince song, and a mutant.

Deadpool 49 Sinead O'Connor (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Sinead O’Connor in ‘Nothing Compares 2 U [Click on the link for the vid]
1:40:25 Kissing and credits to Wham!’s ‘Careless Whipser’ and Shoop song.

Deadpool 67 Collage Scale of Hotness (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Scale of Hotness

1:40:28

Deadpool 50 GIF Unicorn's are horny (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Unicorns are horny

1:47:00 End credit scene lifted from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Deadpool 51 collage Ferris Deadpool (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Oh, you’re expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2? Well, we don’t have that kind of money. What are you expecting? Sam Jackson to show up with an eye patch and a saucy little leather number?

Oh, but I can tell you one thing and it’s a bit of a secret. For the sequel, we’re gonna have Cable. Amazing character. Bionic arm…time travel. We have no idea who we’re going to cast yet, but it could be anybody. Just need a big guy with a flat top. Could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren, Keira Knightley. She’s got range. Who knows? Anyway, big secret. Shh…

[N.B. The final Easter eggs in this hunt are a reference to Samuel L. Jasckon’s Marvel character Nick Fury and Marvel character Cable, Deadpool’s sometime nemesis but frequent mate.]

[Image from article ‘Here’s What You Need to Know About Cable, (Probably) the Next Deadpool Star’ – Click on photo for link]

Roll credits

Tally Ho’

  • WTF!?’s: 4 shallow ones
  • When to Follow: Anytime, even when you have a rule to only watch one superhero film per year.
  • Where’s This Found: I’m going to take a lot of shite for this, but this is a better film than either Captain America: Civil War (or Winter Soldier, for that matter) or Batman vs. Superman. In fact, this is my 2nd favourite superhero film of all time, right after The Dark Knight and right before Kick Ass (which resembles Deadpool stylistically). The mix of action, humour, story-telling, acting, directing hits harder than Colossus and looks better than a superhero landing. Out of a possible 10, I have 9 F’s to give.

9 Fs 139pt

  • What To Feedback: What are your top 3 superhero films? Let me know in the comments. Oh, and also:

All GIFs used in this review were created with the Imgflip online meme generator

[N.B. I used the very informative Den of Geek article as a research tool for this synopsis]

Left Over WTF (Way Too Funny) Photos

Before I get on with the funny, I’ll point out some of the Easter eggs in the road signs visible during the chase scene:

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Left over GIFs

Deadpool 52 GIF Boogie man (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Boogie man
Deadpool 53 GIF Whenver I get a compliment (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
MRW anytime I get a compliment

Left over photos

Deadpool 72 poster 02 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Deadpool 81 collage comics (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Who will win, Francis or Deadpool, or will it end in a draw?
Deadpool 56(WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘Oooh! I’m with the Man of Steel!’
Deadpool 54 SC Down in the dumps (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Down in the dumps
Deadpool 73 SC Blank stare (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Blank stare
Deadpool 74 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
‘Do you know this book is about getting your first period? Oh, looks like you do.’
Deadpool 75 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Just let her bee
Deadpool 76 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Wade is on the radio
Deadpool 77 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
A coffin fit
Deadpool 78 SC Hospital gowns so hot right now (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Hospital gowns…so hot right now
Deadpool 79 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)
Deadpool shoots his mouth off once more

Prints suitable for reposting!

WTF!? did they say?

Deadpool 80 wtfdts Testicle with teeth (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

WTF!? do you meme?

Deadpool 82 meme got the point (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Deadpool 83 meme rusty groin (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Deadpool 84 meme straight doctor (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Deadpool 85 poster 03 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)

Deadpool 86 poster 04 (WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly)What to Follow Up

WTF Reviews

WTF!? review of a disaster film
WTF!? review of another Marvel-lous film
Batman v Superman 01 poster WTF Watch The Film Saint Pauly
WTF review of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
hardcore-henry-01-poster-wtf-watch-the-film-saint-pauly
WTF review of another hardcore action film: Hardcore Henry

Bar None Review

Oh, Al! Bar None review of Ant-Man

Fernby Films Review

Fernby Films look at ‘Captain America: Civil War’

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2 thoughts on “WTF: Deadpool (2016)

  1. I’ve slowly come to the conclusion that Gina Carano isn’t an actress at all. I mean, at all. She’s not even able to “act tough” like they’ve hired her to do. instead, she looks like she’s got a rather pointy butt plug jammed somewhere uncomfortable and she’s trying to shit it out.

    Aaaaanyway, I loved this movie (you probably know that alread) and this review captures the magic perfectly. I have my BluRay on preorder and I can’t wait to revisit this nutball film in a few short weeks! Great work!

    Like

    1. Hallo Rodney!

      Lol! I loved your anal-ysis of Gina’s performance! I found it interesting, and telling, that she has absolutely no lines in the entire film. And you’re right, she seems wooden, even when she fights. Oh well, as I loved this film so much, I was able to ignore this slight misstep. Thanks for the props on the review! It took forever to put together, but I learned a lot and had a blast, so I was happy to see some of that pleasure made it through!

      Enjoy the blu-ray, my friend!

      WTF!? Rodney (Watch The Film),

      Saint Pauly

      Like

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