WTF: Suicide Squad (2016)

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Suicide Squad 01 poster 123wtf Watch the Film Saint Pauly

Spoiler Alert:

I shall be committing Suicide Squad to memory, examining its shots and studying its jumping off points to determine if it’s killer or dead in the water. So read on only if you’ve already seen Suicide Squad, or don’t plan to.

Watch SUICIDE SQUAD here

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The Maleficent 7

0:00:18

Black Site
Terre Bonne Parish
Louisiana USA

Black Site with Will Smith? thats-racist

0:00:21 To the strains of the Animals singing “House of the Rising Sun”, we’re given our first peek at Belle Reve, the maximum security prison where the Suicide Squad is kept on ice.

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They caught their death

0:00:36 Deadshot (Will Smith) is in solitary confinement, punching a bag and wishing it were his favourite least favourite guard.

0:02:17 🐔 Easter egg: Harley is introduced hanging from a scene in reference to her past as a gymnast.

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Harley is hanging up on them

[N.B. The song playing to introduce Harley Quinn is You Don’t Own Me, by Lesly Gore. All songs from the film, including those not found on the official soundtrack, are on this playlist.]

0:03:28

That is just a whole lot of pretty in a whole lot of crazy.

Guard (Ike Barinholtz as Griggs)

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A knock out

[N.B. The song as we transition into Washington D.C. is the Rolling Stones, “Sympathy for the Devil”. See playlist at the end of the post.]

0:03:56 Agent Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) presents her case for using the Suicide Squad by referencing Superman’s death at the end of Batman v Superman, even using the same images of his funeral.

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Superman could arrest her for stealing, if he weren’t dead

0:04:12

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What’s my name?

0:05:12 & 0:05:16

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Dead right

0:08:37 After showing one of his hits, Amanda says she was able to get Batman to arrest Deadshot by following Deadshot’s young daughter (Shailyn Pierre-Dixon as Zoe). It’s always a pleasure to see Batman (Ben Affleck) literally drop in.

0:09:11

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How bad can she be?

[N.B. The song playing at Harley’s introduction is the extremely appropriate Rick James’s, “Super Freak”. See playlist at the end of the post.]

0:10:06

Talk about a workplace romance gone wrong…

Waller gives us the backstory of Harleen Quinzel (Margot Robbie), the Arkham Asylum psychologist who fell in love with her patient: Jared Leto as the Joker. Completely understandable — this is Jared Leto we’re talking about, after all. You’d have to be crazy not to fall in love with him.

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“I’m crazy…for you!”

0:11:17

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A handy smile

[N.B. The hoodlum with whom the Joker speaks, and eventually shoots, is none other than rapper Common, as Monster T (a character based on The Tattooed Man but named after Mr T.)]

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Let us prey…

0:14:22 After Batman chases the diabolical duo of the Joker and Harley Quinn, he must plunge into the lake to rescue and arrest Harley, who can’t swim. We also learn that when Batman gives someone mouth-to-mouth, he uses his tongue.

0:14:33

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“What goes around, comes around,” Captain Boomerang

[N.B. The song playing during the jewellery shop robbery is the again appropriate AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds”, no doubt in tribute to the fact both Digger and AC/DC are Australian. See playlist at the end of the post.]

0:14:55 Digger (Jai Courtney) is arrested in the shop by the Flash, who ran all the way over from the small screen.

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What are the charges, Flash?

0:15:09

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Diablo is such a hot head

0:15:15

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Diablo is fired up

[N.B. The song playing while El Diablo (Jay Hernandez) surrenders to the police in a flashback is “Slippin’ into darkness” by War. See playlist at the end of the post.]

0:15:41 & 0:15:59 Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is Killer Croc.

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He’s thick skinned

[N.B. The song playing while the guards feed Killer Croc is “Fortunate Son” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. See playlist at the end of the post.]

0:17:22 The backstory of archeologist June Moone (Cara Delevingne), who breaks a sacred doll’s neck whilst spelunking and becomes possessed by an ancient witch, The Enchantress. This is nothing new for Cara, however, she’s had a lot of women inside her.

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Witch way?

0:17:42 Waller explains she’s able to control the Enchantress because she has the witch’s heart, and not in the married way.

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Heart-shaped box

0:18:19 Waller tells the Admiral (Ted Whittall as Admiral Olsen) with whom she’s dining that she can control the villains and force them to work for the government, with the help “the finest special forces officer this nation has ever produced” (Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flag). She arranged for him to fall in love with the Enchantress so she can control him. One would think, if he fell in love with the Enchantress, that she would be the one able to control him.

0:18:31

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Would appear Cara Delevingne is dirtier than we thought

0:22:24 During a meeting at the Pentagon, Amanda Waller has the Enchantress zip over to Tehran to pick up their weapon’s plans, in order to convince the government to authorise her to form Task Force X. The Enchantress should say “Iran all the way there.”

[Imho, this is one of the largest WTFs in the entire film. If she can disappear into an Iranian vault and come back with secret documents, why can’t she disappear into Waller’s room and take back her heart?]

0:24:17 Once the government okays their project, Waller and Flag fly to Belle Reve to meet their captive audience.

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Tunnel Vision

0:25:04

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To my haters and trolls

0:26:12 While Flag tests Deadshot’s shooting skills, the latter points the pistol at Griggs, who tormented him earlier.

Griggs: Ames, if this man shoots me, I want you to kill him…and I want you to go clear my browser history.

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You may be a prisoner, but at least your jacket matches your shoes

0:28:14 One of Deadshot’s demands to work for Waller is to send his daughter to an Ivy League university and…

…if she can’t cut it and her grades start slipping? I need you to ‘white people’ that thing.

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“What? This mobile doesn’t have red eye removal?”

0:28:48 While justifying her choice to use criminals to defend the country, Waller tells Flag,

In World War II, the U.S. Navy made a deal with the Mafia to protect its ships on the waterfront.

True story. It was called Operation Underworld.

0:30:12

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He’ll get the point

0:31:52 The Joker approaches Griggs in an off-license gambling spot to enlist the guard’s help in breaking Harley Quinn out of jail. (The assistance Griggs furnishes will be to provide Harley with a phone during her transfer [@38:01].) Jared Leto’s Joker is good enough not to be laughed at.

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Joker’s look is like Boy Scouts: In tents

0:33:37 The second act begins with the Enchantress astral travelling to put her brother’s spirit in the body of a really fit business man she found washing his hands in a tube lav. Of all the unusual things that have happened to me in the underground toilets, this doesn’t even crack the top 10.

0:34:29 Enchantress tells her brother she intends to build a machine that will destroy humanity to punish us for not worshipping them any longer. I’m more concerned with the colossal WTF!? of why the Enchantress didn’t astral travel and resurrect her brother ages ago if it is really this simple.

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Dirty little secret

0:36:08 Enchantress’s brother eats some people on the Midway City subway platform and places his hand on the third rail to come to gain strength. He’s not the only one who’s shocked.

0:36:50 The military assembles Task Force X in Belle Reve to combat at the subway situation. When the guards come to collect the team for the adventure, however, they all commence to resist and kick a great deal of U.S. army ass. Apparently they’re far happier inside their cells than we were led to believe. WTF!?

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A Cute Angle

[N.B. The song playing during the fight scene is Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid”. See playlist at the end of this synopsis.]

0:38:01 Task Force X is taken to cargo planes strapped in wheelchairs after having injections in their necks. Griggs slips Harley a mobile phone so she’ll tell the Joker he took good care of her. Griggs is worried his number’s up.

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Feeling tied down

0:39:07 The Joker and his team infiltrate the lab which designed the hypodermic equipment used on the Suicide Squad at 38:01. The Joker injects a lab tech in the neck with one of these devices. There’s a lot of that going around in this film.

[N.B. The method behind the Joker’s madness is no doubt to gain access to the nanite bomb technology so that he might disarm Harley’s bomb when the time comes (at 1:13:26).]

0:40:26 The Enchantress eludes Rick and seeks out her brother (Alain Chanoine as Incubus), the now mega villain. When Waller stabs the Enchantress’s heart, she has her brother fix her right up. She says she’ll get her heart back, yet she seems happy being heartless.

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Wants to stand for a spell

0:42:07 Task Force X is delivered to the safe zone outside the city.

Hi, boys! Harley Quinn. How do you do? Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape? [To the group] Sorry, the voices. I’m kidding! Jeez!…

That’s not what they really said.

Harley, on meeting the army unit surrounding them

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Harley is busted

0:43:11 Boomerang and Slipknot are introduced into the mix. The unceremonious fashion in which Slipknot is presented tells me he’s not long for this film.

0:43:44 Flag explains the squad had to obey him because he controls the nanite explosive in their necks, which is as small as a grain of rice but more powerful than a hand grenade. #mypenis

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When you don’t put “Good Guy” on your Grindr profile

[N.B. Easter Egg🐔 Deadshot tells Flag he should read Phil Jackson (“triangle, bitch”) on how to lead teams. Phil Jackson is a new age inspired basketball coach. From his wiki: Jackson is known for his use of Tex Winter’s triangle offence as well as a holistic approach to coaching that is influenced by Eastern philosophy, earning him the nickname “Zen Master”.]

0:44:24 Costumes are delivered to the members and Harley finds her original costume, circa 1992.

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A costume party

[N.B. The music playing while the team suits up is Eminem, “Without Me”. See playlist at the bottom of this post.]

0:45:14

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Dressing down
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Click on the shot if you don’t believe me

[N.B. 🐔 EXCLUSIVE 123WTF.COM EASTER EGG: Note the faded dolphin tattoo next to the more recent “Lucky You” tattoo. I’m convinced this is because psychologist Harleen Quinzel acquired the dolphin tattoo long before she became Harley Quinn. After her conversion, however, she or the Joker decided to ink was no longer appropriate and so began having it removed; thus, it’s faded condition.]

0:46:31 Amanda Waller addresses the Task Force via tablet. She explains they have to enter the attack zone in Midway City and rescue HVT-1.

Deadshot: I’m sorry, for those of us who don’t speak good guy, what is HVT-1?

Waller: The only person that matters in the city. The one person you can’t kill.

In other words, “I’m not going to answer your question.”

0:47:48 As the helicopters are taking off, we’re introduced to Katana, an Asian ninja bird whose job it is to have Rick’s back. So she’s a Flag carrier.

Harley Quinn, nice to meetcha. Love your perfume! What is that, the Stench of Death?

Harley introduces herself

[N.B. The song playing as the group fly into Midway is “Spirit in the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum. See playlist at the bottom of this post.]

0:48:16

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Air pollution in Midway City was a real problem

0:50:28

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Slumming it

0:51:34 As predicted at 43:11, Slipknot is disposed of as he tries to escape when Flag explodes the bomb in his neck.

Killer app!

Harley makes a Saint Pauly joke

0:55:07 The Suicide Squad must fight the herpes zombies Incubus made. Killing is Task Force X’s living, and they’re making a killing.

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They lose their heads for Katana

0:59:37 The missing half of Flag’s company, company Bravo, is taken to the train station where the Enchantress’s kiss turns them into herpes monsters.

1:01:38 Entering the building which houses HVT-1, Harley must fight zombies to the tune of “Come Baby Come” by K7 [See playlist at the bottom of this article]. She also gets a text from the Joker, saying he’s close so she should be ready to come with him.

1:02:22

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Cheeky

1:04:52 When the team are besieged by the crack team of tar zombies, Diablo finally lets loose and burns the enemy up when he loses his cool.

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Things are heating up

1:06:28 Looking down the stairwell, Harley flashes back to the night she and the Joker escaped and back flipped out into the vat of the same chemicals that created him.

1:07:39

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A colourful past

[N.B. The song playing while he saves her is “Gangsta”, by Kelhani. See playlist at the bottom.]

1:10:08 We discover HVT-1, the asset to be rescued, is Amanda Waller herself. Before leaving her operation centre, she shoots everyone working with her because they didn’t have enough security clearance for the jobs they were doing. They all get fired. Literally.

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They’re behind her 100%

1:13:26 The helicopter coming to rescue them off the rooftop had been hijacked by the Joker. He disarms Harley’s nanite bomb, so she leaps from the building and grabs the rope he’s dangled for her. I suspected she was a swinger, and here I see I was right.

1:15:38 Waller orders the Joker’s copter shot down, and when it happens, Harley falls from the fiery craft and lands safely on the roof. The Joker, however, acts like Nicolas Cage’s career and goes down in a ball of flames.

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The Joker is an insane kisser

1:17:11 Waller’s helo is brought down in turn and she’s kidnapped by herpes zombies. It would seem helicopters in Suicide Squad are as safe as Death Stars in Star Wars.

1:18:26 Harley rejoins the team but her heart isn’t in it…it’s too broken.

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MRW People ask me how I am and I feel like shite

1:20:02 Incubus, the Enchantress’s brother, gives her back her heart. She celebrates by wrapping her tentacles around Waller to learn government secrets. Honestly, reading Clinton’s emails seems a lot easier.

1:22:48 After Flag explains they’re fighting supernatural forces and not terrorists, everyone decides to quit Task Force X and go to a bar. They’ll have to change their name from “Suicide Squad” to “Rational Decision Squad”.

[N.B. The song playing in the pub is Etta James, “I’d Rather Go Blind”. See playlist.]

1:24:52

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A hot dancer 🔥

1:25:32 Diablo gives his backstory and explains he killed his wife and children when he lost control of his anger. He really burns them up.

1:25:54

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What I’d like to do to a Porsche

1:28:13 Flag enters the pub (his backup team dissipated in the cloud of all the WTF). He breaks the nanite bomb detonator and tells the Suicide Squad they’re free to go. Only Boomerang leaves (WTF do the others stay!?) Then Flag tells Deadshot his daughter writes him every day. This is a week, judging from the pittance of letters he hands over.

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“Hey Harley, who is your daddy?”

1:28:52 Deadshot is so angry at Flag that he agrees to do what Flag wants. WTF!?

1:29:14 Instead of enjoying their freedom, the rest of the team decides to accompany Deadshot and Flag in a heartwarming display of WTF!?

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WTF!? The only one brought cover from the rain lives in water!?

1:33:06 The group arrive at the station to distract the Enchantress and Incubus while Killer Croc and the Seals blow the charge in the basement that will kill Incubus. Is it just me or does Cara Delevingne move like the alien in Mars Attacks?

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Transcen-dance

1:39:02 Diablo, as some ancient demigod, battles Incubus, who’s also in flames, meaning they’re hot for each other.

[N.B. Chato Santana (a.k.a. El Diablo) manifests as Chutriel, a fallen angel who chose to remain in Hell as its righteous punisher of the guilty.]

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Wants his reflection to be hotter

1:40:10 After her brother dies, the Enchantress uses her tentacle link with Waller to target key military installations. You might say she’s picking Waller’s brain.

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The future is cloudy

1:44:02 Harley agrees to join forces with the Enchantress if the witch will bring the Joker back to life. This, however, is only a ruse Harley uses to get close enough to the Enchantress to cut out her heart. I suspect this isn’t the only time Margot Robbie has stolen someone’s heart.

1:45:58 In a slo-mo sequence long enough to explain generosity to a politician, Killer Croc tosses a bag of explosives into the trash tornado the Enchantress has created, and Deadshot shoots it at just the right moment to destroy the killer weather. You won’t believe me, but the exact same thing happened in Sharknado.

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Scales of justice

1:47:51 After Flag destroys the Enchantress’s heart, June peels off the Enchantress’s face and steps naked from the dead witch’s skin.

1:50:38 The out-tro — during which we see the concessions Waller made to the team: Deadshot spends some time with his daughter, Killer Croc watches BET and Harley drinks espresso — is shown to the strains of Panic at the Disco performing Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”. [See playlist below.]

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Harley has been booked

1:52:21 This idyllic scene is interrupted by the Joker who breaks into Belle Reve to break Harley out. That’s one way to take out a girl.

1:52:46 Roll credits

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“That was one big dog.”

[N.B. The song during the credits is “Heathens” by Twenty One Pilots. See playlist below.]

1:55:18 In a post credit scene, Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne is speaking with Amanda Waller in an empty restaurant. He tells her he will protect her politically from the fallout following the Midway City affair if she shares a file containing information on Flash and Aquaman. As he leaves, she tells him he looks tired and should stop working nights.

1:55:57

[N.B. The ensuing credits song is “Sucker for Pain” with Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, Imagine Dragons.]

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Tally Ho’

  • WTF!?’s: 6 dead ends
  • When to Follow: Buy it on Blu-ray and watch it with all your friends and a series of vodka cocktails.
  • Where’s This Found: One point for D.C.! Not only one of the best super hero films of the year, one of the best ever. In a world of politically correct, white bread movies, Deadpool and Suicide Squad really stand out. Suicide Squad learned a lot of lessons from Deadpool, especially concerning the humour. The dark humour works especially well in that the jokes don’t detract from the sinister ambience that makes me prefer the D.C. universe over that of Marvel. Suicide Squad is a good omen for future D.C. films! Out of a possible 10, I have 8 F’s to give

8 Fs

  • What To Feedback:

All GIFs used in this review were created with the Imgflip online meme generator

Left Over WTF (Way Too Funny) Photos

Left over GIFs

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Ass-Ass-in shorts

Left over photos

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Suicide Squad is a Hit movie
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In plane sight
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Harley at the dentist
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Get hammered with Harley
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“I can’t feel your heartbeat!”
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Thinks Harley is hotter than he is
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“This may shock you…”
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Got a text on his Note 7
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Taking a stab at it
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Everyone is under the weather
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They’ve just read my review

Prints suitable for reposting!

For Instagram

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A handy smile
Suicide Squad 71 Instagram El Diablo 123wtf Watch the Film Saint Pauly
Free King Hot

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WTF!? do you meme?

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Suicide Squad 68 Meme Harley is busted 123wtf Watch the Film Saint Pauly

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What to Follow Up

WTF Review

WTF!? review of Deadpool
WTF!? review of Deadpool
WTF!? review of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
WTF!? review of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
WTF!? review of Captain America: Civil War
WTF!? review of Captain America: Civil War

Bar None Review

Oh Al! Bar None review of Dr. Strange
Oh Al! Bar None review of Dr. Strange

Fernby Films Review

Fernby Films of another Margot Robbie film
Fernby Films of another Margot Robbie film

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3 thoughts on “WTF: Suicide Squad (2016)

  1. Nonononononononono!! Say it isn’t so! Please say this is some meta-joke and that you hated this film!

    Oh dear. SS was such a disappointment, such a clusterf*ck of ideas and execution meeting via a narrative blender. The characters were awfully developed, Leto was abysmal as the Joker (no panache, no menace, and that was even in the Extended Cut!) and whatever the hell was going on with Jai Courtney’s stupid Captain Boomerang had no place in a film adults would pay to see. I still can’t figure out what was going on with the film’s key villains – what was the point of all that again? It lost me.

    Anyway – i struggled with this one; to enjoy it, to like it, hell just to even finish it. I don’t think I’ve been this annoyed with a comic book movie since the theatrical version of Batman V Superman. That or Halle Berry’s Catwoman. Ugh.

    Nice review, but.

    Like

    1. Hallo Rodney!

      Ah, it’s been such a long time since we disagreed so much on a film! It’s a little refreshing, don’t you think? 😈

      I’m afraid I don’t follow your point about the cluster fuck. The film seemed rather straight forward to me. Introduction of characters, introduction of conflict, resolution of conflict. As for the Joker, I agree Leto was no Ledger, but I thought he did the baddie justice.

      But when it comes to Boomerang, I’m afraid I must take you to task. Yes, granted, he’s a little childish, but then this only makes him resemble every Marvel hero in every Marvel super hero film ever! Why is it they get to flaunt two dimensional heroes but when D.C.tries, they’re called out for it? Or is it simply that you and Boomerang are both Australian and you’re afraid how he’ll make you look. 😉

      Yes, I really enjoyed this one and Batman v Superman, as well. Maybe you’re just not cut out for the DCEU?

      WTF Rodney (Watch The Film),

      Saint Pauly

      Like

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